Having to return to work

I am currently still on differential pay from my district as well as private SDI and I keep debating when I want to go back. I am also the breadwinner of my family and also the one that pays for the families health care . My husband is a full time student and works 3 days a week as well. I do have PFL left for 12 weeks but at 50% and then that gets taxed too because apparently teachers just get the short end of the stick. I’m really torn I wanna extend cause I don’t wanna miss her milestones but I also need to make money for my family and need to go back to work. What should I do?

in our community

Did you get push presents?

I want to ask for a push present but im not sure what to ask for i prefer practical useful items I dont wear much jewelry or makeup, and I definitely dont like expensive brands like Louis vitton or Gucci, im just not that kind of woman to use that kind of stuff. I'd like to have stuff that I like to do but honestly I have not had time to enjoy almost any of my hobbies so I feel like it would be wasted. Does anyone have any ideas?

Starting nursery - End of mat leave

Not sure what I am hoping with this post. Maybe some comfort.
I will be back to work next week and my baby will start nursery tomorrow (4 days a week) full day.

I know it is part of the process for working out of the house moms, and I am been trying to get my head around but I am struggling. When I think that I won’t be the one spending the day with her, it breaks my heart.

I am trying to think of the main reasons I am back to work. To move to a house with more space, to provide for her etc but my heart is broken.

We don’t have family around so she basically only stayed and was looked after by me for 12 months. She is very attached and I am so concerned she will struggle.

I feel like a bad mom for sending her, but I don’t really have another option at this point in life.

How do you cope?

Thank you

Making friends is becoming a full time job.

Anyone else feel exhausted trying to make friends? I cant explain how many times i have reached out, tried to make plans for the day, little outings, holidays, anything and everything. It always seems to be the people that beg for friendship that are the ones who actually dont bother!

Its really getting me down too. I either dont hear back, get ghosted or just rearranged constantly. I get it, we got kids, i get it? Your a single mum too and childcare isnt available. My god- bring them! We can struggle together.

I guess im just ranting at this point. And it isnt even about having the money to do things.. I always offer to treat, I dont even care. I just want somebody to make plans with.

Gonna go cry

What am I doing ?

I have a two year old girl who I look after practically solo I haven’t had a night off since she was born. I left my husband in December and moved back to my mom’s. At that time I felt like I had enough as he wasn’t supporting me with our girl and I was still pay half half towards everything. We agreed I stay with him at his mother’s house 4 nights and 3 at my family home. 9 months later I’m pregnant and I have felt so much anger and disconnection towards him. He said he wanted a second child to give our first a sibling and I agreed as he said if I wasn’t going to conceive naturally he would bank his sperm so I could have IVF I was against that why should I. (He was going to bank as he has a low sperm count and we struggled with our first). But now I have built up so much hate I’ve left yet again we are building our home to move in to but I’ve left because I just can’t handle that he does nothing now and he won’t with our second. My sister got involved and spoke with him basically saying it’s over you two can’t communicate effectively so I’m stepping in what are the finances as I have also given a lot of money towards our home and she said I won’t be going back 4 days a week he can do nursery collections and do dinner and get her ready for bed and I will collect after. No it all seems so real I’m thinking I do love him but I don’t love the way I’m treated. I’m afraid I’ve made a mistake and I’m afraid If I go back that will also be a mistake. And I know I’ve been really silly lending money and my name on nothing and getting pregnant I am aware of my stupidity. I just don’t know what to do now. I’m scared. He can do nursery collections dinner and everything now I said I’m done but he would when I was there it was all down to me. Sorry for the essay