Nursery

I’m in the same position I’ve got my daughter in a nursery as I need to go to work, ideally if I could I’d have her at home and look after but I need to go to work so I can support my partner financially I don’t think there’s any easy way to let go of the fact we spend so much time with them to then have to let someone else take care of them for however long but nursery’s tend to have settling in sessions before they actually start so it’s not a daunting place for them and it’ll be familiar. And gives us reassurance!

Another way I see it is they’ll learn how to be social around other children. I have a step son who’s 7 so he’s not really interactive as much with my 11 month old x

Quit tiktok. Maybe sending your kid to nursery at 6 weeks like they do in the us isn’t a good idea but a 1 year old? They’ll love it.

Totally get your worries, but nurseries can also be a really positive experience for little ones. They learn so many things, like building relationships with other children, confidence, communication etc. There will always be some horrible stories - but they are so rare compared to the good ones. Nursery staff will be able to keep them entertained for the day and teach them new skills. I know it's a big change and daunting, but try to focus on the good bits!

Firstly, Tik tok is brain rot. I can’t imagine there’s any actual studies behind these videos you’ve seen, it’s just someone’s bias opinion.

How old is your little one?

Putting baby into nursery will give you some of yourself back. Also as she grows older and understands nursery more. She will have fun.
My nursery use the app famly and i love seeing my eldests updates mondays and tuesdays hes in. Im looking forward to my middle child going (he starts next week) for his updates and seeing what he does in the day. But also for them to socialise with kids their own age. Also my middle copies my eldest and im looking forward to seeing his little personality develop more which isnt included in the copying of his big bro. Currently gives me 2 days i dont have to plan on things to do or places to go where i can the rest of the week. When i return to work from my daughter, i know theyre all taken care of and makes my time with them better

If you cant financially work out a way to cut back and be able to stay at home, then just work on finding a nursery you absolutely love. I had to put my LO in (granted she was 2, but it wasnt my plan) and the nursery we chose has seen her thrive and build confidence. She absolutely loves it.

Hi I know how you feel i have prolonged going back to work as i was feeling anxious about leaving little one in childcare I have opted to look more into childminders as they have a more homely feel than nurseries I think anyway. Don't feel awful you are not putting your needs before hers you you are trying to build a balanced and financial life for you and your little one. My little one also has a secure attachment so that also made me worry, especially when she was younger so i panicked about putting her in childcare shes a little older now and I have seen her play with other children she loves it, and when I took her to visit a childminder she loved it too. Your not doing anything wrong hun, take a visit to a nursery and see how you feel. Yiu are not a bad mum and you are not harming her at all ♥️

There are studies, BUT where are the studies that show the impact on a child of a household that are struggling to survive financially?
We're so fortunate I have been able to basically give up work til he goes to school or if we pop him in a school nursery when he's 3 (which is the age the studies suggest is actually beneficial for them) but if you've got no choice then let that mama guilt go and just make the most of every second you have with her x

I was sooo worried but my girl goes now 3 days and in the 9 months she's been she made so much progress. She's happy there and I love that they are doing bits like messy play etc that I don't do at home. She is thriving and learning so much and I have a good feeling with the staff which is so important. And gives me time to reset too as we have no village at all.

I wouldn’t take anything from TikTok seriously. Are you sending her to a nursery near home or work? Some nurseries are great some are not. I spoke with mums in my local area to find out if their children like their nursery, is it clean, do they go out much, how do they eat /sleep etc. I if there are any specific things the mum not like about the nursery.

I think it also depends on the personality of your child. Some children would prefer nursery, some prefer a smaller setting like child minder and some can only be happy having 1-1 with a nanny/ grandparent. I have a highly sociable boy who likes to be around people and he’s only happy when I take him outside. I know staying at home with me or a nanny he would get quite frustrated. He loves his nursery and only gets sent home when he’s coming down with an illness not because of separation anxiety.

I work in a nursery and currently on maternity leave! Even as someone with such high confidence in sending my little boy to nursery when I go back to work i still have mum guilt I may miss out which is only human😅

Nurseries are very good in supporting a baby and giving them good social skills and lots of opportunities!! They make friends, are cared for and there development comes a long way as i have seen with so many, the confidence that grows in them truly are amazing! Now I will be honest and say in the beginning your little one will cry and make you feel like the worst mum for leaving them but they quickly learn that Mummy always comes back at the end of the day 🩷

You will also find its easier to settle a baby at a young age into the new environment who doesn't fully understand yet than a 2 or 3 year old who's spends everyday with you then all of a sudden has to go to school 🥰 this is just my experience x

I had to send my daughter for 1 day a week at 9 months. It felt completely wrong and she'd only ever been with me or her dad. We found a smallish nursery really close to my work so I didn't have to worry about traffic or anything. Even her settling in hours she happily went off and wasn't bothered. My daughter now goes 2 full days a week and its coming up to a year, she loves it!

So my son has been in nursery since 10 months old and its been amazing. He's 17 months, goes off and has fun, loves it. Goes 3 days a week. Our almost 4 year old started at 2 because they didn't have room. I really wish she had started younger because of the benefits it had on both her when she did start, and how my son is.

It has helped so much with their social skills and confidence.

I think when looking at nurseries you have to rely on your gut during visits and when asking questions. If ut doesnt feel right then ask why and listen. We went to view the nursery that my kids go to and we left feeling amazing and excited for them to attend. We asked questions, saw how they interacted with the babies and children and just felt really good. If I hadn't have felt like that then they wouldn't have gone there.

Do I still feel guilty? Yes. I wish I didnt have to work, but its easier knowing they are somewhere safe that they love. X