in

Washington

I don’t have any friends and I just need to rant. Thank you for reading.

I’m in desperate need of reassurance or something idk. I have a 16 month old daughter and am battling depression so hard. I don’t brush my hair or my teeth, I wear pjs all day I’m not even on my phone much I just sit and listen to my daughter cry. I skip my medication sometimes I don’t eat if I do it’s a muffin or a handful of candy or crackers or something bad/small. I miss my daughter when she’s sleeping but then when she’s up everything she does is incredibly irritating. And I snap at her over everything which is not me at ALL! I’m an impatient person but since having her I’ve always been patient with her. Everyone around me except for my husband says it’s normal and that I’m fine and to just “have more patience and consistency” she gets into my mother in laws china cabinet which is very sentimental to her. My mother in law is an ANGEL and best friend but she keeps telling me I need to just be patient and it’s okay and that I don’t need to put a child lock on it. Like what?? but as soon as I turn my head my daughter will quietly sneak in then of course naturally everyone looks to the mom first instead of the dad like “why weren’t you there??” There’s so much weight on me I feel even with small things. I’m planning on going to outpatient therapy here soon but am currently looking for a new doctor that takes coordinated care and is open to more holistic methods rather than a medication cocktail. I’m all for medication but I’m not taking a whole bunch. The Lord is my strength and I go to Him when I’m struggling but I don’t even have the energy or want to do that nowadays. I just need a friend who gets it. Anyway thank you for reading.