Am I wrong for wanting to leave?

My fiance has depression along with other conditions and it’s just a lot at the moment. This year has been a lot for us emotionally and financially but Its like he’s always getting on at me, looking for arguments, going through my phone, monitoring where I am etc. I can’t even have a social life! It was my close friends 25th at the beginning of the month and I missed it even though it was from 7 till late all because he hid the keys and said no. He doesn’t even trust me around gay men like I am trying but it’s becoming draining! I don’t want to be with him anymore but I feel bad for feeling this way 😔 when I spoke to my work friends they spoke as if this is what relationships are not always as fun especially when you’re older and that I shouldn’t nitpick so much because he’s going through a rough patch. Problem is I feel like I always get the bad end of the stick every single depressive episode!

I have been at my parents the last week almost and I feel even MORE stressed because he’s always texting me accusing me of cheating or doing something behind his back. We havent been engaged long now but gosh I want to cancel it already

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

If he's constantly accusing you of cheating, 9/10 times, they're the ones cheating

I honestly don’t think you should feel guilty for feeling this way. ❤️ You can love someone, anf care about what they’re going through, and STILL realize that the relationship is no longer healthy for you. depression doesn’t give someone a free pass to control you. Going through your phone, monitoring where you are, accusing you of cheating, deciding who you can be around isn’t something you should just accept because he’s having a depressive episode.A healthy relationship should still leave room for you to have friends, go out, have your own life, You shouldn’t have to constantly prove that you’re not doing something wrong.

Sounds way too controlling imo. Relationships are about compromise and can be hard work but you shouldn’t be micromanaged 24/7.

This sounds a lot like my past relationship. I was with the guy for the majority of 8 years after college and mostly stayed bc he had PTSD from the Iraq war and I felt guilty for wanting to leave. Just because someone is having a hard time, doesn’t give them the right to make you feel any less than.
Granted, I did not have children with him (or any yet for that matter) but when he started talking abt getting engaged, I felt nauseous and knew that’s not how I should be feeling if he was the one for me.

I had to tell multiple people the night I was going to break it off with him, since we lived together and I was nervous abt him retaliating.
Thankfully I’m now married to a wonderful man, with 2 sweet girls and am so much lighter and happier.
The weight you will feel off your shoulders when getting out of this type of relationship is astounding. I felt like I had the whole world in front of me again.
I wish you the best - you deserve so much more.

It’s much easier said than done but you need to live your life for you! If you’re unhappy then do what you need to do, he’s a grown man he can (and should’ve been already) pick himself up and not let it affect you. I get relationships come with highs and lows but when he isn’t taking steps to help himself and it’s affecting you, who is thinking about you in this situation? Nobody, so you need to x

He’s cheating and reflecting it. Just leave sometimes it happens you grow to know someone and you aren’t able to love the new version of them that they became. Sorry you’re dealing with this I hope things can get better for you 🫶🏼

Good thing ur not married yet

Hiding your keys and not letting you out is extremely controlling. This isn’t what a normal relationship looks like at all, and his mental health struggles don’t mean he gets to accuse and control you for his comfort

in our community

Help!!

Any advice on getting your partner to step up more with your child?

Nursery Query

Hey!
I’m just wondering about sending my boys to a nursery. They’re 6 months old twin boys and I’m so uncertain on what to do. Like, do I even go back to work or do I stay home and just be skint or do I go back to work. If I do send them nursery what’s the process for this? What’s the monthly cost going to look like for both to be in nursery 4/5 days a week. My partner is a high school teacher but in a different area so sometimes the school holidays don’t sync up. I do have my mother in law who will have them every now and again, same with my mum. My mind is spinning hahaha

Another episode of - is he cheating:

General vibes over the years - seems to exit out of what he was looking at on his phone when I come in the room, has the opportunity with “work dinners” and things, found a hair tie in his car one time. I know that sounds bad, but no one who knows him would think he’s capable of it, and I’ve always chalked it up to my own anxiety and insecurities.

Yesterday I found a necklace.

Discreet box, ordered to the house, last night he unboxed it, put the nice cloth bag in his backpack, and left for work with that this morning. (Yes I know this bc I was snooping) A quick google shows it was a Very expensive necklace.

Took everything I had not to ask about it, but I’m waiting until this evening to see if it’s still in his backpack or not. He could be hiding it and giving it to me at some point but idk.

Thoughts?

Toddler not eating

Hey mommas, i have a almost 13 months old and he is not eating ANYTHING, he only wants to breastfeed. He used to at least eat greek yogurt in the morning, and i would add oats and chia seeds, but he is not even wanting to eat that anymore. He used to also really like fruits, like watermelon, banana, mango and kiwi… well not anymore… i dont know what to do , im getting really stressed, he barely gains any weight 🫠🫠🫠