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IT'S A POLL WORLD! 🙋🏽‍♀️

Worried about how husband is with kids

I love my husband to death, and for the most part our parenting techniques are the same but sometimes I worry about how he will be as a dad. For context we have a 6 month old together and we also have my 4 year old who is his step son. My husband is the rough, alpha male, doesn't put up with bs from anyone type of man. And I want my boys to be tough and ready for the world so I'm glad that he is. But sometimes the things he says I don't agree with when it comes to how kids should act and be treated. Like for example I was telling him how 1-2 year olds will a lot of times cry when their parent gets home even if they were just fine and playing because they forgot that they weren't with mommy/daddy the whole time and they're still getting used to being detached sometimes. And he said "If *6 month old* does that, I'm gonna get mad at him and be like why are you crying??" Like seriously?? A one year old?? And he's not joking. He says things like these are men they're not meant to cry! And one time I said we had to validate my toddlers feelings and he just laughed in my face, like legit laughing he thought that was hilarious. He thinks I baby them. And maybe I do but they're my babies. My boys I can't help it. I do punish my toddler when appropriate and I am stern with him, sometimes even lose my temper if he's getting on my nerves but I don't like when that happens. He wants me to be just a stern and rough as him but I believe there needs to be balance. A mother needs to be more nurturing and comforting in my opinion. And while I do believe the father should be more stern sometimes I think he takes it way too far. Sure my toddler listens to him and does what he says the first time out of every other adult in his life, but it's out of fear. And I don't want my boys to fear me. I don't want them to fear the home that they live in either because their father is a tyrant. A part of me feels bad for him because I know that it all comes from how he was raised I'm sure. His mom would beat him like crazy growing up and sometimes his dad too. And I'm sure his feelings were never validated as a child so that's his only viewpoint of how parenting should he for young boys. He also tells stories about how he would bully his cousins and other kids till they cried and he laughs about it like it's completely normal and he wants his kids to be just like him. But I just don't know how to go about it with him. I do want him to be stern with them, but not taking it too far. But he doesn't believe he takes it too far.