Torn between religions and life choices

You don’t have to force yourself to pick a religion immediately 🤍 If you believe there is a God, maybe start there and simply pray in your own words asking for guidance. Then learn about Islam, Christianity and any other faith you feel drawn to from reliable sources, rather than only what you were told growing up.
I think it’s actually really healthy that you want your children to understand why they believe something and still feel free to question it. Faith chosen through understanding is very different from faith chosen through fear. Take your time — you’re allowed to explore without having all the answers yet ❤️

I’m Muslim, and honestly reading this made me feel like maybe you were never really given the chance to discover Islam for yourself. Being raised Muslim and actually understanding Islam are two very different things. If you genuinely believe there is a God and you want to know Him, I’d say give yourself the chance to explore Islam properly, ask questions and read the Quran in a language you understand. You don’t have to suddenly know how to pray or understand everything either. If you find your way back to Islam, you can literally start from zero, just like Muslim children do when they first learn to pray, and slowly learn the basics and build from there. You don’t have to be perfect before you start. Allah knows your intentions, He knows what’s in your heart and He knows every effort you make to learn and come closer to Him. I also wouldn’t judge Islam only by how it was taught to you or by the people around you, because Muslims are human and we can get things wrong too. Take your tim

Take your time, ask the difficult questions and genuinely ask God to guide you to what is true.

As a Muslim I don’t blame you for feeling this way. It sounds like you were taught to follow Islam without really being taught or given the chance to understand it.
If you still want to explore it start small. Read the Quran in a language you understand, learn about Allah. Also be careful who you learn from. Unfortunately there are people who are very harsh, extreme or judgmental and can make religion feel frightening. That doesn’t mean they represent Allah or Islam correctly. Allah is described again and again as the Most Merciful and Most Compassionate.
You don’t need to suddenly pray perfectly, wear hijab or change everything overnight. Learn at your own pace. And you are absolutely free to explore other religions too. Ask God sincerely to guide you to the truth and give yourself time. Faith should come from understanding and conviction not fear or pressure. 🤍