Please help š
Iām in a dilemma, and am unsure what to do. So my partner and i have a 2 year old together, we both pretty much live at my mums place and we give her money towards rent each month as she is struggling, my partner stays less as sometimes heāll stay at home due to work, (his family home is 1.5hr from mine) ever since Iāve had my son I wanted to keep him at home until he was 3 and just find a job in the evenings, Iāve got this job currently itās school cleaning and I do enjoy it, itās decent pay and means I get a bit of money to treat myself at the end of the month, I do get Universal Credit and get Ā£150 from my partner each month but never have enough to get myself clothes and that. My partner is a labourer and has started moving around the country for work, so my mum has been coming home after 9hours of work a day in the construction industry and sheās tired, she cares for my son while Iām working as my partner is either still working at that time or at his, he also goes to watch his team at football twice a week which is also near him, Iāve been saying I donāt want my mum to do this forever as I can see sheās so tired from doing all this, and my MIL says Iāll have to find a different job in the mornings and put my son into nursery, I wouldnāt want him going full time so it would have to be part time, 3 days a week, weāre going to be moving out soon in the next 2 years and barely have any savings, My partner says we both need to be saving I donāt earn enough currently but my partner earns just under Ā£3000 a month and heās only 25, but the fact Iām having to leave my job (this also happened with my last evening job before this one) makes me upset Iām not asking him to leave his job Iām just so tired and exhausted, and he doesnāt want to hear it, I donāt have any friends or social life, Iām really struggling and work and being with my son is the only thing going for me and I now have to give up work, and try and find a job that fits around my partner. š
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Sorry to be harsh but he sounds like he's being incredibly selfish. Going to watch the footie twice a week? What the hell? He ought to be with his baby whilst you go to work in the evening. It sounds like he has it absolutely made whereas you are struggling immensely. I wouldn't move in with this man. In fact I would end the relationship with him altogether. It's not feasible for him to be living 1.5hrs away from his son or constantly moving. Why hasn't he looked for a job to be near to you or to stay with you and your mum? If you split he can have visits and that would lighten your load considerably. Bear in mind if you save Ā£6k you won't get UC at the same rate anymore. And once you move in with him you won't get it at all. You're the one risking everything here. Put the onus on him, say "this is our problem, how do YOU suggest solving it?" and his answer will be very telling, because he probably thinks it can just stay as it is š¤·š¼āāļø idk this arrangement seems really unfair, has it always been like this?
Sorry but he earns Ā£3k a month but only gives you Ā£150. No. Just no
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Please help š
Iām in a dilemma, and am unsure what to do. So my partner and i have a 2 year old together, we both pretty much live at my mums place and we give her money towards rent each month as she is struggling, my partner stays less as sometimes heāll stay at home due to work, (his family home is 1.5hr from mine) ever since Iāve had my son I wanted to keep him at home until he was 3 and just find a job in the evenings, Iāve got this job currently itās school cleaning and I do enjoy it, itās decent pay and means I get a bit of money to treat myself at the end of the month, I do get Universal Credit and get Ā£150 from my partner each month but never have enough to get myself clothes and that. My partner is a labourer and has started moving around the country for work, so my mum has been coming home after 9hours of work a day in the construction industry and sheās tired, she cares for my son while Iām working as my partner is either still working at that time or at his, he also goes to watch his team at football twice a week which is also near him, Iāve been saying I donāt want my mum to do this forever as I can see sheās so tired from doing all this, and my MIL says Iāll have to find a different job in the mornings and put my son into nursery, I wouldnāt want him going full time so it would have to be part time, 3 days a week, weāre going to be moving out soon in the next 2 years and barely have any savings, My partner says we both need to be saving I donāt earn enough currently but my partner earns just under Ā£3000 a month and heās only 25, but the fact Iām having to leave my job (this also happened with my last evening job before this one) makes me upset Iām not asking him to leave his job Iām just so tired and exhausted, and he doesnāt want to hear it, I donāt have any friends or social life, Iām really struggling and work and being with my son is the only thing going for me and I now have to give up work, and try and find a job that fits around my partner. š
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