Would you do it?

This is a long one. As a parent/grandparent of older children would you cosign, be a guarantor, or get the apartment in your name and they move in?

My daughter is a 29 year old single mom and my grand baby is 3. Upon breaking up with her child’s father she moved out of the home they both lived in. Making her a single income home and in this economy we know how hard that is. She doesn’t get child support and they have joint custody. Before she moved she could afford all of her bills but had to move due to the toxic environment. She began falling behind on a loan that she had previously took out to consolidate all her debt including private student loans, credit card, & medical. She survived for about 6 months then began to drown because clearly rent, utilities, gas, groceries, & stuff for her son held precedent. When it became too much (she doesn’t like asking for help) she decided to file for bankruptcy. She could afford the regular stuff but the extra was draining her. The monthly expenses exceeded her monthly income by hundreds and with her coparenting schedule it made it complicated for her to get another job. I was unaware about all of this. The only time she asked me for help was when her rent was going to be a few days late. She would obtain late fees on the 3rd but didn’t get paid until the 6th. She asked to borrow $500 (rent was $1600) and would pay me back the day she got paid and she did. I didn’t have to ask I just woke up to the money back. She’s decided she wants to move out of the area she lives which is near her child’s father to be closer to our family. However does not want to live with anyone because she does value her privacy immensely and will feel like a burden but they will also have to fit into the spaces and it’s just not worth it. She knows she can come back home but I live in a different area and she doesn’t want to live here and doesn’t want to take her son that far away from his father so he can continue to have custody. Her lease ended at her current apartment and she planned to move but then began dealing with the ramifications of having a bankruptcy on her credit. This means most places won’t rent to you because of the negative history and you’re stuck finding private landlords or places that are sort of.. shitty. Not a lot of second chance places around her. She moved back in with her child’s father for the time being and things have since gotten incredibly toxic again. She found an apartment that she loved with all utilities included for less than $1800. She said it’s prefect for her especially because everything is included and it’s less than she was paying at her last place. But they denied her due to her credit only. She received a notice that the apartment was now around $1600. (Different unit just New availability) which promoted her to finally call me, tell me everything that was going on, & ask me for help. She said she’s struggled with it for months and didn’t want to involve me or anyone in her mess. Which I know is true because every time anyone asks when she is moving she says she’s still looking and it’s just complicated. But I don’t co-sign for anyone for anything.. I was a guarantor for her previously but she was in school. I don’t want my credit to take a hit if something potentially goes wrong and I don’t want to be liable for the payment either if she can’t. I know she’s my daughter but this would affect me as well. I’m retired and living on disability. She’s not asking me to pay for anything at all. Even said she would pay the application fees for me. Said the easiest one would be for me to apply for the apartment and they get added on as occupants but she would pay for everything. I truly want her and my grandson away from her child’s father because it’s not healthy. She doesn’t need to be under the same roof as him but I still have my feelings keeping me from doing it…the last time she asked me to co-sign for an apartment was when she was moving out on her own for the first time 4 years ago if needed and I told her no. But she ended up not needing me and had gotten everything on her own since then. Everything is in good standing besides her credit which sucks that’s why she is getting denied from places….. what would you do?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

So long as there is clear evidence that they will make that payment every month id cosign.
But id require her to tell me the second she couldnt make the payment at any point, with zero judgement

Avatar

I’d co sign. It sounds like she’s trying her best but also doesn’t like asking for help. So id do it. Rent these days is crazy and especially a lot of places you need to make like 3 times the amount which is also crazy so id do the co-sign and help out when you can and she sounds like she will give money back right away if needed.

Avatar

Nope. We also won’t sign for student loans either.

Avatar

If she’s struggling so bad and clearly parents helping her isn’t a problem why isn’t her moving back in an option? It would help her learn to save and get back on her feet without having the burden of paying so rent and utilities on her own. She can help with groceries and a small bill while living with yall

Avatar

I think you need to research worse case scenario. If she does default will u be able to make the payment and what is required to break the lease?
Sounds like she needs to come home and rebuild and if he wants to be near his kid he should cosign for her smh. I dont think you should take the risk.

Avatar

For me, two very important things. Firstly id have to make sure she was employed And secondly, my financial status. Id have to be sure i could afford to pay the rent or break the lease, in any unfortunate circumstance. that would for sure make or break my decision.

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Recipes?

Any good dinner recipes? I’m so sick of everything I make

Avatar

1

8

Sad being done.

I’m 38, have three beautiful kids, and my youngest is only 6 months old. I know I should feel happy to be finished and able to focus on my life and the kids I have, but instead I feel so sad.

I keep having this feeling that someone is missing. I’m going to miss the newborn stage so much, even though it nearly kills me every time. 😂 The exhaustion, the postpartum depression, lack of family support and having gestational diabetes with every pregnancy are all very real reasons why I know I probably shouldn’t have another.

But emotionally, I’m struggling with the thought that this is really the end.

Does anyone else feel sad about being done having babies? ❤️

Avatar

1

5

Mum group

Anyone wanna be added to a mum group on what’s app

Avatar

4

11

Would you do it?

This is a long one. As a parent/grandparent of older children would you cosign, be a guarantor, or get the apartment in your name and they move in?

My daughter is a 29 year old single mom and my grand baby is 3. Upon breaking up with her child’s father she moved out of the home they both lived in. Making her a single income home and in this economy we know how hard that is. She doesn’t get child support and they have joint custody. Before she moved she could afford all of her bills but had to move due to the toxic environment. She began falling behind on a loan that she had previously took out to consolidate all her debt including private student loans, credit card, & medical. She survived for about 6 months then began to drown because clearly rent, utilities, gas, groceries, & stuff for her son held precedent. When it became too much (she doesn’t like asking for help) she decided to file for bankruptcy. She could afford the regular stuff but the extra was draining her. The monthly expenses exceeded her monthly income by hundreds and with her coparenting schedule it made it complicated for her to get another job. I was unaware about all of this. The only time she asked me for help was when her rent was going to be a few days late. She would obtain late fees on the 3rd but didn’t get paid until the 6th. She asked to borrow $500 (rent was $1600) and would pay me back the day she got paid and she did. I didn’t have to ask I just woke up to the money back. She’s decided she wants to move out of the area she lives which is near her child’s father to be closer to our family. However does not want to live with anyone because she does value her privacy immensely and will feel like a burden but they will also have to fit into the spaces and it’s just not worth it. She knows she can come back home but I live in a different area and she doesn’t want to live here and doesn’t want to take her son that far away from his father so he can continue to have custody. Her lease ended at her current apartment and she planned to move but then began dealing with the ramifications of having a bankruptcy on her credit. This means most places won’t rent to you because of the negative history and you’re stuck finding private landlords or places that are sort of.. shitty. Not a lot of second chance places around her. She moved back in with her child’s father for the time being and things have since gotten incredibly toxic again. She found an apartment that she loved with all utilities included for less than $1800. She said it’s prefect for her especially because everything is included and it’s less than she was paying at her last place. But they denied her due to her credit only. She received a notice that the apartment was now around $1600. (Different unit just New availability) which promoted her to finally call me, tell me everything that was going on, & ask me for help. She said she’s struggled with it for months and didn’t want to involve me or anyone in her mess. Which I know is true because every time anyone asks when she is moving she says she’s still looking and it’s just complicated. But I don’t co-sign for anyone for anything.. I was a guarantor for her previously but she was in school. I don’t want my credit to take a hit if something potentially goes wrong and I don’t want to be liable for the payment either if she can’t. I know she’s my daughter but this would affect me as well. I’m retired and living on disability. She’s not asking me to pay for anything at all. Even said she would pay the application fees for me. Said the easiest one would be for me to apply for the apartment and they get added on as occupants but she would pay for everything. I truly want her and my grandson away from her child’s father because it’s not healthy. She doesn’t need to be under the same roof as him but I still have my feelings keeping me from doing it…the last time she asked me to co-sign for an apartment was when she was moving out on her own for the first time 4 years ago if needed and I told her no. But she ended up not needing me and had gotten everything on her own since then. Everything is in good standing besides her credit which sucks that’s why she is getting denied from places….. what would you do?

Avatar

1

10

Advent calendar

Every year I have watched people on YouTube unbox these expensive advent calendars from brands like Mac and benefit. I would like to buy myself one this year because I have worked hard and I’m going to be in my third trimester by December. Each one I look at doesn’t really have exactly what I’m after. If I’m spending £100-200 on something I really want to use over 90% of the products. Here’s my question, out of all of the ones I’ve looked at I have 3 top choices OR I could take the money I would spend and buy things I actually want and wrap them myself like a saddo. What do you think?

Avatar

4

Hi ladies

What everyone buying there one year old for Christmas 🎄

Avatar

12

Read more on Peanut