What are we expecting from our partners when they go back to work help wise ??

My partner just started work today he started at 4pm so he done the first feed during the night last night which he then ended up sleeping from 4am to 11.30am today , we will work it out with his shifts that he does first feeds or morning feeds if he is early etc but still that he gets enough rest and I do. I think that is only fair tbh because we also need rest to be the best we can for our babies xx

Literally read yours saying partner and copied you but he’s my husband and we’re married 😂😂😂 sorry lol xx

I say this the nicest way possible and mean no hate but he needs to get a grip
Doing 1 or 2 feeds and changes while you pump and then him going back to sleep isn't going to hurt him go to bed early around 9 and he will be ok, he needs to help support you so you dont go down a dark path x

My husband doesn't help with night feeding & changes, he helps a lot when he's home from work (he is a teacher so gets home at 4/4:30pm so I am lucky it's not that late) but he has to be on top form as he's a secondary school teacher so I want him to stay in bed and only helps with the early mornings and let's me lay in on the weekends. We combi feed so I can't exactly pass him my boobs but for the formula feeding - we batch prep bottles once a day, leave them in the fridge good for 24 hours and I warm a bottle up in a plugged sink hot tap whilst I am breastfeeding. I get this all ready when my baby is showing signs of hunger now whereas before I waited until he was crying screaming but I don't let it escalate now if I can help it (I'm a light sleeper)

I’m breastfeeding, so all the feeds on me, but I go to bed every night at 9/10 and my husband stays up until 12 with her downstairs and brings her up to our room. He then sleeps and I don’t disturb him, but he gets up with our toddler and that’s usually between 6.30-7.30am before he gets the toddler ready and to childcare. So he helps an awful lot and works.

Looking after a baby, especially on a feeding plan is work too. When is your break? When is your help? I had to pump and do top ups with our first and my husband was instrumental in his support with this. He did all the top up feeds from bottle because I didn’t want our son to confuse between me and the bottle. He did all the washing up and sterilising, too. I fully credit my husband as the reason why I was able to continue exclusively breastfeeding and maintain it when it was so hard to start.

You can and should expect support x

I really feel for you because some men just have no idea - how is it supportive for him to say that when he has a newborn baby and a partner who is doing triple feeding. It’s so so much on your plate to handle.

I just also dislike the midwives / health visitors putting all that pressure on you when they could provide practical advice and make sure Dad is involved in the conversation so you don’t have to delegate to him. I wouldn’t get into a debate with him on this, just say “yes of course you are expected to help at night”. The more you give ground, the more he will take. You advocate for yourself and what you need. He can be tired xx

not sure if this is a route you would be open to going down but my baby had issues with gaining weight due to being jaundiced and not being able to transfer milk from the breast efficiently. the doctor basically said to me to breastfeed, give her bottles of pumped milk after and then obviously pump after that to keep the supply up. it was way too much for me to handle especially as i have a 1 year old aswell, so i switched to exclusively pumping and haven’t looked back! i do randomly latch her from time to time but she still has issues so its just easier to give her it in a bottle. i didn’t want her to not have breastmilk so this was the only way for it to happen and for me to save my sanity! if it is too difficult for you then i’d definitely consider this, or even doing more combi feeding of formula and breastfeeding, or formula and pumped milk etc to take the pressure off you so much. and as for help, he definitely should be helping throughout the night especially due to