Not sure I'm in love anymore
I am 13 weeks postpartum and I keep questioning whether I still love my husband or not. After I gave birth he was supportive but when we got home I started suffering with depression and he was so unsupportive! We've argued a lot, not as much now but I fear the damage is done, did anyone else experience anything simular and fall back in love?
Read more on PeanutThe views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Hey, I'm not sure about the being unsupportive now with the ppd but with everything else it's totally normal to hate your partner 🤣 everything is totally unfair to start with and you have to shoulder a lot of the responsibility yourself because it's all baby wants. It does get easier and it does change and the dynamic of your relationship will change. I think you probably need a conversation with your partner about both of your expectations and how you can navigate this tricky period, but just know it's very common and you aren't alone! I felt exactly the same way and sometimes even still have those moments and I'm 11 months pp! And my partner is very supportive but at times it still feels unfair and I feel resentful and jealous of his life
If there are no major red flags (ie abuse etc) and you did not feel this way before becoming a parent then I'd hold off on making any major decisions. The first 12 months is known as the roommate phase for a reason.
Trending
in our community
Partner not okay with breastfeeding
We started out with a combo of breast feeding and bottle feeding (formula and expressed milk) but I found breast feeding is just easier, quicker, less dishes.
Baby girl is coming up on 8weeks old and my partner is very uncomfortable with me breastfeeding with anyone around. I do my best to be discreet and respectful of his feelings but babies run on baby time. He won’t let me feed our baby if we are in public, I have to go to the car. If his family is over to see the baby I have to leave the conversation and go to another room while they continue to visit.
Has anyone else’s partner been uncomfortable? How did you navigate the conversation of “I’m going to feed our baby- idc if it makes you uncomfortable” without a huge fight?
Thanks in advance for any thought or advice!
18
Partner won’t let me stop breastfeeding!! RANT
I love, love my baby! But I’m tired of breastfeeding. LO is currently 14 months+ with so many teeth coming in, and I’m ready to stop BF. I actually wanted to stop at 12 months, but my partner begged me to give her a bit more time. Now, at 14 months, he’s guilt-tripping me into continuing!
Last night, I tried not to do the usual night BF. LO was fussing, and I tried consoling her until she eventually fell asleep. But before that, my partner went on a rant, saying I didn’t discuss it with him first before deciding to stop, that I can’t just stop abruptly, and that I should let the baby stop when she’s ready.
It turned into an argument because I was trying to explain to him that she probably won’t stop if I don’t guide her to, and I’ll have to stop one day anyway, no??
He made me feel like such a bad mum, saying I don’t care about the child.
12
2.5 week old baby sleeping position- is this normal?
Hello, my little girl sleeps in this position(see photo) on my or my husband’s lap. Should I be concerned? TIA :)
1
4
Bad day?
I’m wondering if any other moms have experienced something similar postpartum, because I’m having a bit of an off day mentally and could really use some perspective.
I’m about 2.5 weeks postpartum, and while I absolutely love my baby and feel incredibly grateful he’s here, postpartum has been much harder on me mentally than I expected.
The first couple of days I was extremely anxious about basically everything. I felt safest at home and found it really difficult to leave the house. Even getting to the driveway felt like a huge accomplishment. I’ve slowly been pushing myself to get out more, and there have been days where I feel like I’m making progress, but then I’ll have an “off” day and feel like I’m back at square one.
My anxiety can also feel very physical — faint, jittery, tingly, like I need to get somewhere safe. I’m also constantly worrying about the baby. Every change in his sleep, feeding, diapers, spit-up, noises, etc. can make my brain immediately jump to something being wrong, even though I know so much of this is normal newborn stuff.
On top of that, I’m incredibly sleep deprived. My husband is really trying to help, but I’m still doing most of the overnight wake-ups, and I’ve realized I’ve somehow convinced myself that his sleep is more important than mine. I’m starting to feel some resentment, which I feel guilty about because I know he’s trying.
And I think I’m also grieving my old life a little. I’m completely in love with my baby and wouldn’t trade him for anything, but I can also miss my freedom, my routine, my relationship, and the person I was before becoming a mom. I didn’t realize how big of an identity shift this would be.
I guess I’m just looking to hear from other moms who have been through this. Did you feel constantly anxious or afraid to leave the house? Did you have physical panic symptoms or constantly worry about your baby? Did you have good days followed by really hard ones?
When did you start feeling more like yourself again, and what actually helped?
2
16
Intimacy
How quickly after birth did you have sex/get intimate? I’m 5 weeks pp and feel ready but not sure why I have to wait until the 6 weeks? Should I wait
3
Co sleeping
I really want to have my baby sleep with me on bad nights - such as when teething. Baby usually sleeps in their own room, but I’d like to co sleep from time to time. However, I don’t have a floor bed or a cot that I can place next to my bed. Does anyone have any advice on how I can make my set up safe? I feel like bed rails would be a good option for us, but are they safe? If so, does anyone have any recommendations of which ones to get? For context baby is crawling and pulling up to stand. TIA! X
6
Download the Peanut App
