Struggling with second pregnancy

I am 8 weeks with my second baby and I have a 12 month old, I am really struggling this time around. I am napping twice a day (thankfully baby 1 still has two naps a day) and just generally feel so tired and sick all the time. I’m currently on mat leave and my husband works 9-6. I am struggling so much, I find it so hard the keep the house neat and tidy, to keep on top of laundry and dishes and cook as well. Bless my husband he doesn’t put pressure on me but the three of us have to eat right! . Plus the food aversions are so strong. I hate opening my fridge or even looking at a dish that has food in it from an earlier meal. I feel bad for my daughter as I am not as fun as I was before but I am literally exhausted. My husband tries to help but he’s a very logical man so he won’t do all the bits that come with cleaning and tidying up he will just the task at hand if that makes sense? Like he’ll throw rubbish away but won’t replace the bags or wipe down counter tops load the dishes etc. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life and I don’t have any local support as my friends all live far away and my family are not helpful at all.

in our community

Partner broke up after 6 years and a 15 month old baby

My fiance (yes we were engaged) eft me last night. He ended our 6 year relationship and told me he doesn't love me anymore and can't stay with me just for the sake of baby.

I haven't slept all night I'm heartbroken and devastated and feel so blindsided as we wasn't even arguing at the time.

I feel sick with anxiety about the future and what this will look like for me and 15 month old. We're not married so I don't think I have many rights. I worried about my finances and losing our home etc.

Not to mention the loss of what I thought was my forever love.

It was out the blue but said he's hasn't been happy for months.

I'm broken. I genuinely thought we were in a good place.

I don't know what to do, I can't stop crying and I just want to get happy and 100% for my son

Husband spanking toddler

So as the title states my husband spanked our 3 year old 7 times yesterday because she had a fit about getting out of the bath and telling him no. I was across the house but heard the spanking so I ran to where they were and told him to stop.

She has been testing her boundaries a lot this week which for the most part I have been able to handle and explain why certain things can’t go certain ways. I stay at home all week and he usually is home Sundays to play with them otherwise it’s me from the moment they wake up until right before they go to bed.

He woke up in a crappy mood due to a headache and I took both kids to the playground and made breakfast etc while he slept in.

When I stopped him and told him to get away from her he stomped off and I put on a little show while I went to talk to him. (This is the third time I’ve caught him spanking her and we have discussed it even before I’ve witnessed it)

He just sat there looking off into space and ignored everything I said and then said that clearly what I’m doing isn’t working for her “defiance”. This instance has left a terrible taste in my mouth. I am not sure what to do now. My daughter was terrified of him for the rest of the day and didn’t want to see him. I slept in my kids room with both of them last night and haven’t talked since yesterday to him after trying to talk and him not acknowledging his wrongdoing.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Also my family is all 1000 miles away and we live near his family. I’m close with my MIL but this is her son.

I have no clue what to do now I need advice (long post)

So, I have 2 year old son he started daycare today and I had to pick him up after 4 hours because he hits and throws things and I don’t know what to do.

We’ve gone to mommy and me events and he does pretty good.

BUT he’s been to nursery at church and we ended up in like “probation” to where I had to sit with him in nursery for a few Sundays until he started behaving well again. Well, Today was the same thing except they just said he may be better off somewhere with less kids. Which I completely understand. I’m not mad at them I almost expected this to happen and was already looking for places that have ratios with less kids.

The teacher said he does so good on his own and is so smart, but was throwing his metal cup at kids and scratching them which I feel terrible about but unfortunately did not surprise me as this was very similar to what happened in nursery and at the last daycare we were supposed to get accepted to.

Now, I just have no idea how to go about this. He doesn’t really misbehave when I’m around. So it’s hard for me to address these behaviors real time.
When he does stuff like this around me
-I get to his eye level and basically call him out
-I give him stimulation to calm him down by gently squeezing his fingers, hands, and arms (I do this because it has helped me me personally growing up) if he seems overwhelmed or overstimulated(which includes over excitement), I believe this may be the primary culprit
-if he has thrown something I take it away and tell him he’s done because at this point we both know when it’s a behavioral thing or overstimulation - he’s smart he knows he can’t do that and only does it when others are around.
-second time I pick him up and change scenery. This normally does the trick immediately, but I like to give him a chance to self-correct (I don’t know if that’s the exact term to use)
He’ll sometimes attempt to bite me (not other kids,that I know of) but as soon as I tell him “no biting” he will grab whatever he was about to bite (i.e my hand) and kiss it and caress it like saying “I wasn’t going to mom, I was going to be sweet and loving” again, he’s smart.

Thing is he is very behind on cognitive development scale for his age because he doesn’t not talk much. I’m scared because I think that the cause of all of this may be the abuse I went through by his father and him witnessing the parts I could not shield him from. He already is set to have a psychological evaluation soon. He’s been evaluated for ST, PT and OT and is on track to be taking them as soon as they become available(ST tomorrow). And he is in child developmental therapy currently.

I’m a single mom and now I’m feeling defeated because I have no idea how to help my son understand this right and wrong thing. The thing is this behavior is usually not even malicious. It seems and I have been told that it seems more due to maybe being overstimulated.

P.S. Before anyone tries to give me sympathy, while I appreciate it, I would love more than anything to keep this about my son and how to best mother/parent him in this situation. I’m in therapy and doing my best to move past the trauma! Thank you in advance!! 🤍

AITA - Partner asked what the baby’s hair brush looks like

I co-sleep with the baby on my own. I’m breastfeeding and he’s working, so he sleeps in the spare room.

I spend all day with our 10-week-old. He comes home from work and goes to his football club three times a week, plus he runs twice a week. While he’s at football, I take the baby and dog for a walk and then cook dinner.

When he gets back, she’s fussy. I needed to go to the supermarket, and because he says she won’t settle for him without me because I breastfeed her, I took her with me.

I get back and we go on a “family walk” with the dogs. The entire time he’s texting and barely listening to me.

We get home and I bathe her while he watches football. I realise I forgot to bring a nappy into the bathroom, so I ask him to grab one. He does, then goes straight back to the TV.

I get her out of the bath and ask him if he’s seen her hairbrush.

“What does it look like?” he asks.

…What?!

She is TEN WEEKS OLD.

How does this man a) not know what his own baby’s hairbrush looks like and b) apparently not have brushed her hair ONCE in ten weeks?

And then it dawned on me… he’s never even bathed her.

By this point, I clearly look pissed off because he asks if I’m mad at him. I ask him how tf he doesn’t even know what her hairbrush looks like.

He gets all “wtf?” and goes to sit in the lounge while I take her into the bedroom to feed her.

And now I’m sitting here wondering… is it me?

Because I don’t think I’m actually angry about a hairbrush. I think the hairbrush has just made me realise how much of the day-to-day parenting I’m doing completely on my own.
.

Is anyone else struggling ?

Im 10 months pp ftm and I am sooo overwhelmed with the stress of it all. I love my baby so much but I have such long days until my husband gets home so I manage everything alone, take care of the home, baby, dog, myself (lol barley) the mental load is exhausting. I feel like I need a break but there is no off button. I am so so overwhelmed then I feel guilty for feeling this way :( motherhood is so hard

GOING BACK TO WORK

Am loosing it

I will be resuming back to work soon
Myself and my partner works full time
I work day shift and he does night shift
Now my partner is saying , he won’t be able to look after the baby while I am work cos he needs the day to himself to catch up with his sleep
He is insisting we take her to a daycare during the pay and that we must spilt the cost of daycare 50/50

I think that is being selfish 🤦🏻‍♀️
It is reasonable or I am just overthinking ?
Mums how do you plan with your partner on childcare while at work