Struggling

I enjoyed being home with my son (for like 13m) but I really enjoy being back at work too.

I got a piece of my identity back. It was social seeing my colleagues and intellectually stimulating. I got some quiet time going to/from the office. It’s rewarding as I work with children and worked hard for my 3 university degrees.

Now I have to say that I am lucky where I only work like four hours a day, have all the same school breaks as my son, good benefits/retirement pension, etc. So I can balance work/home responsibilities well and still spend half the day with my son. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on him growing up or big milestones. I feel like I have the best of both worlds. But I might feel differently if I had a different career.

But it’s OK if you don’t feel like staying home is for you. You gotta do what’s best for you. Because you can’t pour from an empty cup. And a happy mom means happy babies.

I considered the idea of being a SAHM but decided against it and I’m so grateful to be a working mom. It has its challenges, but my kids exhaust me in a way that work could never. I love them so much and love the time I have with them but at the end of a long weekend I am wiped out. I have so much respect for SAHMs because the amount of energy it takes to be “on” 100% of the time is immeasurable.

I have a friend who thrives as a SAHM. I have another friend who went back to full time work as soon as her son turned 2 (her and her husband's goal). She honestly barely made it and there was a night and day difference between her mental health immediately before and after.

I, personally cannot do full-time stay at home mom. I also really struggle working full time and not being with my kid. Luckily, I'm in a position where part-time work is incredibly viable. Each mom is different and there's no right or wrong way of being.