Husband cheating
A little backstory. 2 years ago I found out that my husband was watching half naked ladies live on TikTok. Not only that, he went as far as paying them to FaceTime with him for “private performances”. When I found out I was heartbroken 💔 I cried so much and when I confronted him he accused me of searching his phone. He said it wasn’t cheating because he never met those women and there was no penetration involved. He later apologised but deep down he still thought he didn’t do anything wrong. He then changed his password and said we shouldn’t look into each other’s phones Forgiving him was so hard but I never forgot. Not even once.
Fast forward to 2 night ago, he fell asleep while watching a totally different, non sexual live. I took his phone to turn it off and decided to check if he was still doing that thing.
I found out he still follows those women on TikTok. This time I was just sad and unsurprised I guess. When I asked him about it he said he doesn’t do that anymore and he swore he stopped.
My problem is, even if he doesn’t watch those lives anymore why is he still following those women? When I asked him why he hasn’t unfollowed them yet he said they are too many to unfollow and that he’s not had the time.
I find this excuse very stupid and honestly I’m heartbroken but I have accepted that I will not be insulted in this marriage. I have accepted that even if we get a divorce I’m fine with it, we’ll just raise our 2 year old as co-parents.
Am I overreacting? Should I be more understanding about this? I’d really appreciate some advice now.
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No you should not be more understanding. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
This man isn't worth losing any sleep over, you deserve so much better!
Sending you hugs. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think you should trust your instincts - you know deep down how you feel, and you also know what treatment you want for yourself.
You know how you want to be treated, and ultimately you are the only one who can make the decision about whether you're overreacting or need to be more understanding. You know how you would treat your husband and what standard of treatment you expect in return.
Take care of yourself in all this!
Nope! The moment he changed his pw and said you shouldn't look in each other's phones, I would've been done! Huge red flag. He's likely to still be talking to those women.
And looking at it from another angle, if the roles were reversed and your husband found YOU doing this shit on your phone, do you think he would have even forgiven you the first time? I don’t think so.
Women are so conditioned to be the bigger person, to forgive and forget. I say fuck that shit. When the respect has gone, cheating has happened, the relationship is done.
The best time to leave him would have been 2 years ago. The second best time is now. Don’t make the same mistake again. You’re not overreacting at all.
Fuck that.
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Husband cheating
A little backstory. 2 years ago I found out that my husband was watching half naked ladies live on TikTok. Not only that, he went as far as paying them to FaceTime with him for “private performances”. When I found out I was heartbroken 💔 I cried so much and when I confronted him he accused me of searching his phone. He said it wasn’t cheating because he never met those women and there was no penetration involved. He later apologised but deep down he still thought he didn’t do anything wrong. He then changed his password and said we shouldn’t look into each other’s phones Forgiving him was so hard but I never forgot. Not even once.
Fast forward to 2 night ago, he fell asleep while watching a totally different, non sexual live. I took his phone to turn it off and decided to check if he was still doing that thing.
I found out he still follows those women on TikTok. This time I was just sad and unsurprised I guess. When I asked him about it he said he doesn’t do that anymore and he swore he stopped.
My problem is, even if he doesn’t watch those lives anymore why is he still following those women? When I asked him why he hasn’t unfollowed them yet he said they are too many to unfollow and that he’s not had the time.
I find this excuse very stupid and honestly I’m heartbroken but I have accepted that I will not be insulted in this marriage. I have accepted that even if we get a divorce I’m fine with it, we’ll just raise our 2 year old as co-parents.
Am I overreacting? Should I be more understanding about this? I’d really appreciate some advice now.
8
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