What to do when dad disconnects

He is using weaponised incompetence, and quite frankly not being bothered with his baby over his phone simply because its not "easy" is bull****. He needs to parent.

Have you thought about comby feeding?

This sounds really hard for you 😔. It also sounds hard for him, some men see this as a rejection or that the baby doesnt 'like them' and they take that rejection harder and can disconnect. It can really affect their mental health. Could you try combi feeding? It might also help give you a break as it sounds like you dont get one x

It's normal for men to take longer to bond. But he needs to put the work in now rather than choosing the easy option and just bringing the baby back to you. You should be able to spend 20 mins showering, if she cries she cries. He doesn't "have" to bring her in. Eventually she'll get over it. It took 2 years for our daughter to become really happy and attached to my husband and he put the damn work in, showed up every day and did his part to support me and be a husband and father. Not a coward who hides in the toilet. Now I will say without further context I would approach this with care not anger because giving the benefit of the doubt he may be really struggling and getting depressed about this and that's why he's shutting down. He can do better. Tips- go out together places with lots of people, all 3 of you. She'll hopefully remember that she likes him a lot more than strangers. If she's crying with him, she cries, you talk about ways he can play and redirect.

He needs to make the effort more to bond with her rather than giving her back to you so quickly. Maybe when she starts to cry with him give him tips on what he can do to distract her/do things she likes to do with you for example play with her fav toys, hold her in certain ways, etc. perhaps also think about combi feeding so they can bond through him giving her the bottle. Good luck! X