Visitors and newborn
How would you navigate my situation?
My brother (and only sibling) wants to fly in from overseas to visit for Christmas, but with my due date being late November, I have some anxiety around a few things.
1. He’s a heavy smoker and even if I ask him not to smoke before he sees baby, he still smells like it. I don’t want our newborn baby smelling or inhaling any of that off his clothing.
2. It’s just awkward - I’m uncomfortable with him staying with us, and my husband and I will restrict guests over Christmas to 30-45 minute visits. It’s really not worth him flying across the world to see us for 30 mins a day, if that.
We don’t plan to restrict our extended family completely, at the same time no one else we know is a heavy smoker and since they live here it won’t matter if they only pop by for a short period of time. My mum is flying in to stay with us to support us postpartum for 1 month.
How is everyone planning to go about Christmas and holiday season? Especially if you have family overseas?
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Tell him you're restricting visits to 30 mins while baby is a newborn and tell him he can't stay with you. Absolutely no way.
With the smoking, you can tell him no smoking near the baby but you can't make him stop smoking completely. A compromise might be telling him no holding baby if he has smoked before coming and then he has a choice to shower and skip the morning cigs that day or come and not hold the baby. Your baby isn't going to smell old smoke from across the room and that's not classed as passive smoking either so is safe.
I had a stinky uncle who smoked and wore aftershave and he visited but didn't hold the baby, it was summer so I also opened the windows.
He might surprise you and get nicotine patches instead.
I don’t have family over seas but we have family who are smokers and also family and friends who loveee perfume . I’m getting spare large t shirts and getting them to put them on if they have perfume on or have smoked in there clothes or smell of smoke
Regarding your brother staying he could always get a hotel and see other family / friends if they live near too x
Similar situation with my brother living abroad. He’s flying back for the birth and to see family as he’s spending Christmas with his GF this year in Vancouver.
He doesn’t smoke though. I was fuming after my cousin held my baby after spraying Miss Coco Chanel 🥴 baby smelt “wrong” so I had to bathe her after being distraught on PP hormones.
Lessons learned, I told family not to spray or hold her fresh from the shower. I would ask your brother to shower before he holds her.
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Visitors and newborn
How would you navigate my situation?
My brother (and only sibling) wants to fly in from overseas to visit for Christmas, but with my due date being late November, I have some anxiety around a few things.
1. He’s a heavy smoker and even if I ask him not to smoke before he sees baby, he still smells like it. I don’t want our newborn baby smelling or inhaling any of that off his clothing.
2. It’s just awkward - I’m uncomfortable with him staying with us, and my husband and I will restrict guests over Christmas to 30-45 minute visits. It’s really not worth him flying across the world to see us for 30 mins a day, if that.
We don’t plan to restrict our extended family completely, at the same time no one else we know is a heavy smoker and since they live here it won’t matter if they only pop by for a short period of time. My mum is flying in to stay with us to support us postpartum for 1 month.
How is everyone planning to go about Christmas and holiday season? Especially if you have family overseas?
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