Post natal depression sorry it’s long

Has anybody else not only had postnatal depression, but thought they would get it even before giving birth?

I’m 36 weeks pregnant at the moment and with this pregnancy and my first one I’ve had a lot of mental instability I’ve had anxiety attacks, panic attacks, feelings that I don’t deserve to have a baby after we had a termination five years ago, I have intrusive thoughts, nightmares at night about hurting the baby, dropping the baby and comments from my partner that he doesn’t want the baby that I forced him into having our second.
I just feel like because he hasn’t been interested in this pregnancy he’s done literally nothing to help me and we do have a bit of a rocky relationship. I already feel so overwhelmed and ignored and stressed and depressed and I’m just getting into my head now that I won’t be able to connect with this new baby all this experience it just made me think it was a mistake and we haven’t done the right thing. I want this baby more than anything a little boy after we’ve had a girl I just feel myself spiralling into this hole and yeah, I’ve got good support around me and I’ve got friends and family that live close but I just feel like this baby is gonna arrive and I’m just gonna feel so down and disconnected and I won’t be able to be a good mum I feel like I’ve just checked out mentally at the moment. And I feel really guilty knowing this baby will be here in a few weeks.

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Hi, first, I'm really sorry you're feeling like this and please be assured you're not alone. I've not had either pre or post natal depression, but I discovered pre natal depression through work a few years ago. Please speak to your medical team about what you're experiencing.

It sounds your partner is not being very supportive at the moment, so maybe a serious conversation with him is needed for him to realise you're quite ill at the moment.

From what I know there's less awareness about pre natal depression, but it is common.

You should also try and share how you are feeling with someone in your support network of course.

I was quite concerned about getting post natal depression and apparently it does not have a negative effect on your baby as long as you are physically responsive to their needs - feeding, changing, cuddling them. You can only do what you are capable to do, which is how your support network becomes invaluable at times like this, but I imagine you may feel a bit ashamed and embarrassed about these thoughts and feelings. Remember that you have a real village, not a virtual one. I hope you find the strength and courage to draw on their support and I really hope you feel better soon

Yep. My pregnancy was ok but with a history of depression I was really worried so I was put in touch with the perinatal mental health team by my midwife. They were really nice and I had extra check ins after the birth and when it did all go wrong (post pregnancy hormones are WILD) they helped me and along with my GP they found an antidepressant that worked for me and was low risk with breast feeding.
Reach out and get your support network all set up.

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Post natal depression sorry it’s long

Has anybody else not only had postnatal depression, but thought they would get it even before giving birth?

I’m 36 weeks pregnant at the moment and with this pregnancy and my first one I’ve had a lot of mental instability I’ve had anxiety attacks, panic attacks, feelings that I don’t deserve to have a baby after we had a termination five years ago, I have intrusive thoughts, nightmares at night about hurting the baby, dropping the baby and comments from my partner that he doesn’t want the baby that I forced him into having our second.
I just feel like because he hasn’t been interested in this pregnancy he’s done literally nothing to help me and we do have a bit of a rocky relationship. I already feel so overwhelmed and ignored and stressed and depressed and I’m just getting into my head now that I won’t be able to connect with this new baby all this experience it just made me think it was a mistake and we haven’t done the right thing. I want this baby more than anything a little boy after we’ve had a girl I just feel myself spiralling into this hole and yeah, I’ve got good support around me and I’ve got friends and family that live close but I just feel like this baby is gonna arrive and I’m just gonna feel so down and disconnected and I won’t be able to be a good mum I feel like I’ve just checked out mentally at the moment. And I feel really guilty knowing this baby will be here in a few weeks.

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Not sure whether anyone’s in the same boat, but I’m on about week 5 of sleep regression! LO is 4.5 months, his daytime naps are mostly ok, he’s sleeping from around 7:30/8pm until midnight/1am ish, then from 2ish he’s up every hour? Not seeking feeds just cuddling and rocking back to sleep.
He woke up at 5am for an hour and a half this morning, then slept 6:30-7:30, now seems to want a nap again? I follow his cues and he sleeps/ naps on demand. We have a bedtime routine of bath, story and feed.
He’s exclusively breastfed and we’re co sleeping for now to get through this rough patch (he is completely rejecting his NTM crib).

I know that they struggle to tie their sleep cycles together esp early hours of the morning, so it makes sense as to why this is happening but I guess I’m just looking for some advice (I mention it to family but just get the typical “try formula and putting him in his crib, try a higher tog sleeping bag he might be cold”. ) We have tried one bottle of formula before, it didn’t work and tbh I don’t want to give him formula yet!

Thankyou!!