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Mommas in their 20’s 🥳

How do single moms do it? (major rant)

Idk how i can do this anymore🤦🏻‍♀️ im a single mom and i’ve been a single mom for a little over a year now, it was easier in the beginning since my son was younger but now that he’s older it’s been way harder. my mom has been my only support system but now she basically wants nothing to do with me, we lost my grandma (her mom) back in april an everything since then has switched between me and my mom. i understand grieving over someone is completely different for each person, but she has completely shut down how she feels about my mental health an is completely ignoring how i feel in general. my alone time an quite time have always been a big part of me but now since april she hasn’t care about my own space and it’s finally catching up to me, and it’s mentally draining me to the point where i want to harm myself bc i can’t take it anymore. my son was never planed, so me an the father first idea was abortion bc 1. we were 18 when we found out 2. we knew it wasn’t the time an place for it. but people got into my head saying to keep it an that imma have a strong support system if i have the baby and everything else you can think of, but where are those people now? no where to be found an don’t even reach out anymore. my einschl thought was if i went thru with the abortion i was gonna to regret it and from there i kinda went with that bc i didn’t wanna have the guilt built up in me for doing something like that so i obviously went thru with the pregnancy. but now at this point i have no support system at all to fall back on, i don’t work as i am the one to watch my son 24/7 so i can’t just leave my situation like id want to. my bf is basically my only support but he’s 2 hours away an his truck is broke down so he would have to use his moms car to get to me but she works during the week so it’s not even a option like i’d want it to be, living with him isn’t a option either. even when my bf is around he helps with my son, but when i’d like some alone time with him i’m not able to majority of the time bc my mom doesn’t want to watch my son for whatever reason, idk if it’s envy or what bc when i was growing up myself my mom was a single mother as-well an when she would try to get into relationships my father would always mess it up for her so she’s been single pretty much my whole life, she’s always wanted a big family but obviously never found the person, so i don’t know if she just envys me for the relationship i have with my bf or what. i’ve reached out to friends about this seeking for help but all they have to say is “this is apart of parenthood”, wanting to harm yourself is absolutely not apart of parenthood at all. i completely understand that being a parent is sacrificing your life for your child and loosing out on a lot of things like examples i’ve said before, but single mothers and mothers in general need a break sometimes. i’ve been dealing with the crying, whinnying, being jumped on, hair pulled, i have bruises on my body, restless sleep at night and not being able to sleep till 3-4am everynight, all while my “support system of a mother” doesn’t care about any of it, when she is watching him she can’t even last 10 minutes without getting upset with him bc he gets into stuff. i also completely understand that my mom isn’t my sons parent and that i am and that’s not what im trying to indicate at all bc i do understand 1,000% i am the parent and have parental responsibilities. but wanting to harm yourself as a parent bc no one is there for you or shows up for you is 100% not okay at all. i’m just seeking for help and for some advice on what to do bc i’m losing myself daily.