Money Struggles

Sorry to hear you’re going through this. It sounds like he’s really not on the same page as you, and can’t afford a two week holiday (what is he thinking?!). I think you need to put your foot down and say no you’re not in a position to.

The challenge is the trip is to see his family so I’ll get the guilt of that and they will say things to me as well.

I’m finding it really difficult that I can’t have a normal conversation about money and finances without him reacting so badly and then shutting down the conversation by staying silent. It has started to make me rethink whether we can be together. I love him so much but if we can’t ever talk about money and he’s not providing anything for us then I don’t see how we can last as it can’t all be on me. I’m on maternity pay ffs.

Can you afford to fund the trip on your mat pay? If not then his family can't make comments as it is a fact that there isn't the money. I would calculate the exact amount of lost income and point out that amount needs to be saved. I'd also add in the household income has dropped to £x so that needs to be saved.

Sorry Incog, your partner sounds like an absolute loser.

He CHOSE to leave his job? Huh? Excuse me? Was this decision discussed with you given you became the breadwinner by default on your paltry maternity pay? Why did he place that burden on you when you have literally just had a newborn?? What a prick 🤦🏽‍♀️

I don’t think this is the man for you if he is treating you like this. He has no respect. He is using you at the most vulnerable time in your life. Me personally I would tell him it’s over and start putting your money towards getting out. Go on gov website to see what benefits you’d be entitled to as a single mum.

As for his holiday, tell him to do one. What he’s doing is called stonewalling and it’s abusive as hell. You are dealing with a pathetic man child who can’t even provide. He won’t change. Things will only get worse. Make the choice to leave for your child too. They deserve a happy mum, not one stressed by a joke of a man using and abusing her.

These are money struggles caused by a selfish individual, do you think he's going to improve being responsible as your child gets older?

He doesn't seem like a responsible man to me. He chose to leave his job knowing you were going to be on Maternity leave. He would of known you were going to be on reduced wages.
If he badly wants a two week trip then he needs to go back to work and fund the trip himself. Why should you have to suffer for his own bad choices.

Why did he not seek universal credit for the time he was out of work? Hope you’re not financing that trip either!

Don't pay for the trip, he should be helping with the money, it should not be all on you. Money etc should be talked about freely in any relationship and as your savings if he's not giving you anything back then don't use them. I had loads saved before I met my now husband and I did use a bit to buy things our house when we bought it but he's paid back more than I gave, if you get what I mean, he's the breadwinner but I tell him what I need and he will move funds around or find a way to get what I need, he is very black and white with money but he never do that to me. Sorry. But if he wants to go then he pays as well, there two in a relationship