struggling as a FTM
i’m really struggling as a FTM and idk what to do, i had a traumatic birth and then had to move homes, in between that my husbands family were very unsupportive and created drama, upon moving home my husband made the effort with his family but i can’t forget how they treated me during my pregnancy and PP, they feel entitled to my child but i won’t allow it as respect is earned not given so in my head they don’t deserve to be a priority in my baby’s life as they only show up when it’s convenient to them, am i wrong for feeling like this towards them?
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I think it’s definitely valid to hold a grudge if you didn’t support you during your pregnancy and pp, it really shows who people are sometimes.
If I was in your situation, I would let them in your LO life, but keep them at arms length. Be mutual with them, but you don’t need to involve them in everything, or have constant communication. That way, you aren’t burning any bridges, but you’re also letting the drama stay clear. I do think though, if they are continually going out their way to cause issues for you, there has to be a point where you stop contact, but I hope that it doesn’t get to this stage for you💕
Nope, you disrespect the mother you don’t have access to the child. My in laws are extremely difficult towards me and I’ve stood firm on my child my terms.
I feel the exact same way. You don’t get to have a relationship with a child if you can’t put in the effort to have one with its mother
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In laws & their entitlement?
I need a bit of a rant and to know if I’m wrong or right here. I had my baby 5 weeks ago, via c section. Long story short, my in laws think their entitled to visit my baby or have visits when convenient to them because they’re family. my FIL shown up to the hospital 1 hour after my baby was born (I JUST got back from recovery) I did not expect this nor confirm this with my partner (luckily my mum arrived first), we left hospital the next day, then the next morning other in laws shown up (auntie, ggma, godmother etc) This continued for 2/3 weeks. My side of the family m gave us the space we needed, but when they did come, always offered to do something, or just did it. My sister dropped off 4 days worth of cooked food without expecting to see baby, my mum did all the laundry and hoovered the house. The in laws expect tea/coffee and only came to see the baby. Always asking how dad is first, how my baby looks like dad and what a great job he’s done.
My FIL shown up at the house unannounced daily for 2 weeks. At one point he shown up while HV was there and stayed? It did get to a point where I asked them to stop and cancelled all visits, this did not stop FIL as in his words ‘I’m grandad’. He still continues to do this. I had visits of them today where they said they expect a visit or to come see the baby at least once a week. These are all separate family members (as in broken family), FIL will likely still show up when he pleases. But I surely cannot be expected to commit to once weekly visits for every family member and find the time to see my own? My dad is sick so can only see the baby when I take him, he’s only seen him twice. My partner is already back in work so we will only have family time on weekends and evenings but trying to fit everything else in like general life things and routine for baby just seems impossible, or am I wrong? My baby is first is their family so I understand they’re excited but I’m overwhelmed.
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Multi-kid mamas: how/when did you decide to try for a second baby?
37 and first time mom to a 22 month old boy. We’re approaching the terrible twos so he’s been quite the handful. We’re also working with a tiny speech delay and he’s starting weekly speech therapy soon. On top of that, husband and I both work full-time. But—I’ve always wanted a second baby.
I almost can’t believe I’m even considering that with everything going on, but I had one sibling and while we spar to this day, it was never once lonely. My husband on the other hand was an only child and always said he was constantly lonely and wouldn’t wish his own experiences on anyone.
At the same time, he seems a little overwhelmed with just the one. It took some time for him to get on board with our son, the conditions needed to be very stable. Was there a time you started feeling like you were ready for a second (or third or fourth!)? Did an age gap help?
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Potty Training
What helped your child the most when it came to potty-training?
My son just turned 2 yesterday, and I don't believe he's ready for potty training yet. But we are thinking about trying for our 2nd, and if possible, I'd love for my son to be potty trained by the time our 2nd child is born. If we can help it, I don't want to stretch out the process. Are there things I can do to prepare my son so that he's familiar with concepts by the time he is ready, to minimize stress for everyone?
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struggling as a FTM
i’m really struggling as a FTM and idk what to do, i had a traumatic birth and then had to move homes, in between that my husbands family were very unsupportive and created drama, upon moving home my husband made the effort with his family but i can’t forget how they treated me during my pregnancy and PP, they feel entitled to my child but i won’t allow it as respect is earned not given so in my head they don’t deserve to be a priority in my baby’s life as they only show up when it’s convenient to them, am i wrong for feeling like this towards them?
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Toddler activities
I'm stuck on what to do in the hrs before between pick up and bedtime sometimes (4-5.30). I'm trying to minimise screentime. We live in a flat currently so not loads of room and don't have our own outdoor space. We go to the park for about 30mins after pick up and then walk about 20mins home. I don't my my little one to get bored of the park and also want interaction for the them with other kids of similar ages and other parents for me. I go to the park and don't speak to anyone. I've looked and we don't have any play cafés nearby unfortunately. Be nice to go places for half an hr to hr and then home, bath and bed. Any suggestions please?
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Boyfriend problems
Hello,
I’m more looking for advice.
I’ve been with my partner almost 3 years, we have a sweet little baby together and I love her to pieces.
Whilst on maternity my partner has stated because I’m home all the time I should do all the ‘womanly’ duties - cook, clean, look after baby, look after him and our 3 dogs.
Now I don’t mind majority of things but I feel like I’m doing to completely on my own.
He’s been going through a health issue recently (IBS) and he’s working from home until he gets a diagnosis.
I was diagnosed with IBS just before me and him got together, I know what it’s like - I stopped eating out of fear and went so skinny you could see my ribs.
He keeps using this an excuse for me to baby him. ‘I’m poorly’ ‘you need to do x for me’ ‘you need to do y for me’ etc
I’m pushing past my limit and when I try and tell him it’s always ‘I’m really poorly and if you keep doing this I’m leaving’
Earlier today I was going a food shop online and I didn’t get to make any food for either of us yet as he wanted to clear out all the cupboards and go to the tip - which I helped with whilst looking after my 5 month old - and he came out with ‘you don’t look after me, you don’t feed me, where is my food it’s Sunday you should be giving me a Sunday roast’
I have told him he needs to start talking to me better or I’m leaving. I can’t keep doing this, it’s been 5 months and I’m going crazy, when I get mad I lash out and I damage things - nothing expensive has ever been broken, it’s more I will throw a coat hanger at the wall and it will leave a mark.
I have all this building up and I feel like this is not helping.
What do I do? I need some advice as I’m worried
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