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September 2026 Babies 🇬🇧

Husband FORCING me to BF

I hate to post this but im really stuck in a horrible position. Im 11 days post partum and have been trying to exclusively breastfeed, initially i had almost 0 supply but then once i found out my son had jaundice I was with a pump on my breast 24/7 trying to increase supply to flush it out, this in effect caused me flu like synptoms, severe exhaustion to the point I could collapse and I wasn't safe to drive. I was also suffering quite significant hormonal crash at 4 days PP crying all day everyday and truly looked like sh!t.

Prior to the baby being born, he suggested we nought formula just incase, we got kendamil. My husband seemed to be fine with us using it and said it was always an option if we needed it. However, his opinion changed as he did more research about the ingredients. Despite seeing me struggle and go through severe depression as a result of the breastfeeding he tells me to push through, asking health visitors on my behalf when to expect the pain to stop and how long I need to pursue for, but I genuinely dont want to continue at all - I feel like hes taken away my right to choose and I feel pressure from both him and his mum to push through it.

Ive always said I wanted to breastfeed from day one, and had been looking foward to it, but now the reality has hit all I feel like is a milk cow, im working extra hard so that he can have 2-3 bottles for his 'night shifts' because he hates the baby crying and wont even compromise on combi feeding. My husband shuts me down whenever I suggest it saying the ingredients are disgusting and we shouldnt give it to our son yet theres no real formula alternative that hes happy with. The more nurses tell us about the magic of breastfeeding, his eyes light up and it gives him even more reason to force me to "push through it", these things are then used against me when I suggest formula.

Im devistated because I feel like im walking on egg shells around him. Its now got to the point i just feel nauseous when baby breastfeeds, I feel 0 emotion towards him and it's affecting the relationship I have with him as my son and also myself.

Ive tried telling my husband all of this his response? "it will get better, just keep trying"

The reason im only posting now is that at 1:50am baby was crying in the cot and I woke him up and asked him to feed him, when he returned he had an awful attitude when he returned and got mad with me because he thought I gave the baby formula (I put it next to the bottle in the fridge) I said to him "its just incase you needed it" and he told me I had enough time in the day to pump more breastmilk (I didnt, I had a baby constantly latched to me causing me pain) we got into a small argument when I said to him, "im sick of you taking away my choice, as of tomorrow im no longer breastfeeding, its too much"

He then said "do whatever you want" then turned away from me on his phone.


Its crazy because hes super loving and nice to me, trying to feed me, hydrate me, give me my vitamins but I feel its only so I can make milk rather than because he wants to take care of a freshly postpartum woman, aka his wife. Since coming home from the hospital, ive not taken care of myself at all, ive barely rested, I actually feel quite depressed and alone and I just cant catch a break.

Can anyone offer their shoulder and advice as im just super confused and hurt. I genuinely feel like a milk cow. I think id be happier to breastfeed if I didnt have to do everything else like changing him, tidying up, doing bottles and home admin... if I could just genuinely eat and sleep and feed I'd be happier.

Help

-one very depressed mum