Failure cloud
First time SAHM mom with a wild 12m old, I really struggle to keep up with the laundry and just general tidying. I vacuum, I make every meal and clean it all up after, I keep the kitchen and dining area clean, I clean the play area every night. It’s just so hard to keep it ALL tidy, my baby still breastfeeds and most of the time contact naps. The messiness makes my husband end up frustrated and makes me feel resented with the comments he makes “I hate how messy our house is”. Which makes me feel like I’m failing. How do you moms manage it all?
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Return comment “I hate how you never spend time with the baby”
But seriously, I’ve had this and, for the most part, husband knows and understands how hard it is to keep the house tidy with a baby (I only tidy up once she’s gone to bed, which often means he comes home to a messy house). I’d love to deep clean the house regularly, but I absolutely cannot do it whilst also looking after a baby. I’m sure as hell not giving up my naptime breaks to do it. On the odd occasion he’s taken the baby out for a couple of hours alone, guess what? I deep clean the house. And I love it because I know it needs doing and it’s stress relieving for me. But he has to play his part in that too
Can you pop them on your back? Ill admit I'm not the best housekeeper but if its really driving me nuts, I use a back carrier and just do what I can. Anything I can't do is my husband's job or something i do when my husband has the baby. Often my baby falls asleep on my back (technically a contact nap!).
I also do little bits when I can. Using the bathroom? Wipe the sink. Waiting for water to boil? Clean the counter. If your kiddo is mobile, they can also hang out with you while you do a quick task. Or, even better, include them in it if you can! 1 year olds are great veggie washers and laundry sorters!
And one last thought; go easy on yourself! As long as its hygienic and safe for baby, have a messy house! If it bothers your husband, he can clean. You being a mom is more important than a perfectly neat house.
Girl. I am struggling 4 months postpartum I haven’t done laundry until we run out of undies, when laundry is done it stays in the hamper. We have a fairly “easy baby” I breastfeed on demand. But somehow I’m always exhausted. I do lunch and dinner and prep our meats for the week. My husband does breakfast for us and helps where he can. But it all falls on me while he’s at work.
It’s A LOT SAHM IS A FULL TIME JOB. GIVE YOURSELF GRACE.
I feel you 😓 It was super difficult to communicate to my husband that i needed him to actively pitch in to do chores regularly around the house, especially baby-related. Lots of tears from feeling overwhelmed and frustrated 😭. Think the challenge for me was finding the right words and articulating it in a way he understands.
My husband helps me. He’s helped me since our son was born. I do what I can and accept that some days I can’t do everything. It’s a messy time of life.
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I’m so pissed idk what to do I don’t want to call police
My husband has been saying is too tired to do anything and on the weekend he gets annoyed when I ask him to me and my daughter out. He always complains and when he comes home he wants time alone. It bugs me cause he hardly spend any time with our daughter.. anyways today I said we should walk to the store near by to get groceries but told him he should go alone with our daughter cause I already walked to the store earlier and been with our daughter all day. And he got so mad saying he wants me to walk with him and he wouldn’t have agreed to walking if he knew I wasn’t going to go. Anyways he slammed the door and left. I got a text saying how he’s upset and he’s taking note of this and he is going to take his time to come back home. That was at 4:45pm.. it’s now 6pm. He turned off his location. He won’t answer my texts and calls go straight to voicemail… I’m panicking… it’s getting cold and dark out.. idk where he went. His car is still here… I’m beyond pissed and if he doesn’t come home soon I’m calling the
Police. My trust is broken right now..
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Hurt by my partner
I’m 17 just had my first baby. I have no fanily at all except my partners family. He’s 18 and my baby is 5 weeks old. He does nothing he doesn’t get up at night he doesn’t tidy he doesn’t clean he does nothing I’m on my own and it was him that was convincing me to keep the baby. I wouldent change this for the world now but every single week since my sons been born my partner has been out at the pub with his pals. I don’t get to go out with mine I made plans last week to go for coffee WOTH some and I was guilt tripped by him. I have a sever womb infection and bladder infection curently so I’m at his mum and dads house Bwcause I can’t cope in my own house on my own right now and I am just so upset and angry that I’ve been Left to deal on my own whilst he gets to live his best life. It’s so unfair and I know this is my own fault and I done it to myself but somebody tell me I’m not crazy and I’m not the only one. TAHTS dealing with this and these feelings
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Feeling Pressure to Spend Time with Partner's Family Postpartum
I'm 3 months postpartum and my partner expects me to spend more time with his family when he's not there because he's working.
There have been comments made from his mum to him and then passed on to me that they expected me to make more of an effort with them. Honestly, it's overwhelming and added pressure and awkwardness. I get on with them fine but the relationship feels forced and they are coming to see the baby and not for me, am I wrong for not wanting this? My partner and i had a argument because he doesnt understand how its fine for my family to visit, i tried to explain the dynamics are different and as much as my family want to see the baby they come to visit to check in and give support to me! Has anyone else dealt with these expectations, and how did you handle it?
I now feel awkward, pressured and alot of guilt on my shoulders because they're 'not seeing the baby enough to bond'. Now cant get it out of my mind and want to see if I am in the wrong for not wanting them over much and prefer to keep it to when my partner is around.
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I’m 20 years old, married to a 30-year-old man, and this is a side of my story that people don’t see. 💔
When I first met my husband, I already knew about the struggles he was having with seeing his daughter from his previous relationship. In fact, our first conversations were mainly about him, his daughter and the difficulties he was experiencing with her mum. I listened to him, understood his situation and eventually we fell in love and got married not long after meeting.
Fast forward, and we now have two beautiful daughters together. My eldest is one year old, and my youngest is a newborn, only around two and a half months old.
You would think that at 20, after becoming a wife and a mother of two, I would be spending this time recovering from childbirth, enjoying my babies and building a happy family. Instead, I find myself dealing with marriage problems that feel far bigger than anything I ever expected to experience at my age.
Our relationship has gone through so much in less than two years. Problems that some couples might not experience in thirty years. And through all of it, I have tried to keep going, even when emotionally I feel like I have nothing left.
The situation that hurts me the most is what happens every three weeks.
My husband goes to his mum’s house when his eldest daughter visits. Because of the social worker arrangements surrounding his eldest daughter, I cannot accompany him or be around her. I understand that his relationship with his daughter is important, and I have never said that he should not be a father to her.
But somewhere along the way, I feel like my own place in this family has disappeared.
Every three weeks, my one-year-old daughter would go with her dad while I stayed behind. My newborn was initially too small to go, so I would still have her with me. But now, this week, my husband has taken my newborn too.
And that has left me worrying about what happens next. Will both my girls be taken away every three weeks, leaving me completely alone in the house?
I’m not upset that he has another daughter. I’m not asking him to choose between his children. I’m asking why, in the process of making arrangements for one part of his family, it feels like nobody considers the woman who is at home recovering from childbirth, raising two babies and struggling emotionally.
What makes it harder is that when I try to express how I feel, I feel frightened that the answer will be that we cannot be together anymore.
Imagine being 20 years old, postpartum, with two children under two, trying to make your marriage work while feeling like you cannot even speak openly about your own feelings without risking the relationship.
Sometimes I question why I am still holding on. Is it because I genuinely believe things will change? Is it because I love him? Or is it because I am scared of being alone with two children and have started believing the things that make me feel like no other man would ever want me?
But why should I have to feel that way?
Why should I feel that I have to accept being unhappy just because I am a young mother? Why should I feel like having two children means I have to settle for a relationship where I don’t feel emotionally supported?
I don’t want court cases. I don’t want endless arguments or more people involved in my marriage. I don’t want to feel even more isolated than I already do. I just want peace, stability and a husband who understands that I have feelings too.
I want my daughters to grow up in a healthy environment. I want to be able to talk to their father without feeling frightened that he will leave me. I want to feel like I am part of a family, not someone who is expected to sit quietly at home while everybody else’s needs come first.
I can understand his responsibilities towards his eldest daughter and still acknowledge that I am struggling. I can respect his role as a father while asking him to respect me as his wife and the mother of his other two children.
Both things can exist at the same time.
I’m only 20. I am still learning who I am, still recovering from having a baby, still trying to understand marriage and still trying to work out what is best for my children and myself.
I don’t have all the answers. Some days, I want to fight for my marriage, and other days, I feel emotionally exhausted from trying to hold everything together.
But one thing I am slowly learning is that being a wife and a mother doesn’t mean I stop being a person. My feelings matter. My mental wellbeing matters. My happiness matters too.
I don’t want to lose my family, but I don’t want to lose myself trying to keep it together either.
Sometimes the loneliest feeling in the world is being married and still feeling like you have nobody. 💔
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First food
Starting my baby on solids tomorrow, he will be 5 months. What is a good first food to try? Any suggestions?
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Failure cloud
First time SAHM mom with a wild 12m old, I really struggle to keep up with the laundry and just general tidying. I vacuum, I make every meal and clean it all up after, I keep the kitchen and dining area clean, I clean the play area every night. It’s just so hard to keep it ALL tidy, my baby still breastfeeds and most of the time contact naps. The messiness makes my husband end up frustrated and makes me feel resented with the comments he makes “I hate how messy our house is”. Which makes me feel like I’m failing. How do you moms manage it all?
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