My doctors not listening to me

if you have an OB they’d probably be more helpful

or maybe try to find another doctor who listens to you

Here is a suicide hotline: (800) 273-8255. If the urge to hurt yourself is very strong, I advised to just call 911 or walk into the ER. Walking into the ER is cheaper.

It is a bit of a process, but this is the only thing that has helped me. If you have the resources, or your insurance covers it I would suggest a therapist. I don't know how to articulate to a doctor on the spot. But building a relationship with my therapist, she speaks to my doctor and they seem to take her more seriously. I hope this helps. And I hope you feel better, beautiful.

What helps me to not commit suicide or hurt myself is knowing that all religions states that if you commit suicide you will go to hell and that hell you go to is 1000X worse than right now.

Look. I feel you. Being a mom and doing all that we do is very difficult. It truly is. I would just do the minimal for this week. No cleaning. No laundry. No dishes. Buy take out. If you have a baby. Put him in a crib or pack and play. Take a warm bath, light a scented candle, turn off the lights. Just sit or lay in the water for 10 mins. Let the baby cry. He won’t die from crying for 10 mins. I have so much to do that I feel overwhelmed and I totally neglect myself. You are not alone. I stopped pushing myself to serve others and focused on getting through my job at work doing the bare minimum and then I just laid in bed for two hours at home. Look. No one cares about what we do. If they judge, f them. It’s your life

I am also very hard on myself. There’s that mom guilt, that perfection that I strive. Nothing is worth you losing your life over. Maybe have family come over your house and watch your kid for two hours and do whatever you want. I couldn’t sleep so I got up alone and went to DD to grab an iced coffee and sat there and struggled reading my novel. After two hours, I decided to just walk alone by the water and watch the seagulls fly and talked to the ducks. Then I spoke to the fishermen who doesn’t even understand English. I talked about how my grandfather used to go fishing with my dad when I was 5. The fisherman didn’t understand a word I said. I walked further hand saw a bunch of Chinese people doing exercises. They looked so weird, I laughed. Point is, it doesn’t have to be expensive to feel better.

If there’s absolutely no one to watch your kid then just take him with you to where ever which will make you feel better. You can take him to the beach and put sand on him and your feet. Just sitting in the sand and feeling the breeze and the sun on you feels nice. There’s so many options out there to do.

There’s also postpartum support international. They are very good with supporting mothers and women in general and they are free. Google search it and call them.

Nothing is worth your life. Not even your children. Not your husband. Not your parents. No one. You are the most important person to you. I hope I helped