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First time mums

Does anyone else’s partner do EVERYTHING halfway because they’re so lazy?

•If he changes baby’s nappy, EVERY time he gives her back he hasn’t put her socks back on.

•If poop/pee gets on her clothes, he brings her back to me only in a vest. (No excuse for it, the clean baby grows are literally in the drawer on the changing table)

•He took her for a walk today to give me some peace, when he handed her to me she was only in a vest and freezing cold. He said he put her in her snow suit In the pram but no clothes on. He said she was screaming the whole walk. And he just left her in it, he didn’t pick her up and comfort her💔I often carry her and push the pram in the other hand. She’s really poorly at the moment with a cold and just wants lots of comfort.

•He rocks her to sleep rubbish so she never goes to sleep for him then tells me “she hates me, I can’t do it, only you can do it” but he puts 0 effort in to it. Even the way he pats her bum, she likes it quite firm, he gently taps his fingers, there’s no way she can even feel it through her nappy. And she likes to be rocked/move around. He’ll often just stand still or sit down.

•If I ask him to feed her a bottle, he refuses to use a bib because he can’t be bothered to spend an extra 5 seconds putting it on.
So at night time her love to dream swaddle gets really wet from milk around the chest/neck. I’ve told him SO many times, If that happens you need to take it off because it will make her cold and could make her skin sore…he NEVER does. He leaves her in it.

•In the nights he never buttons up her vest or baby grow. If I get up to change her nappy, I unzip her swaddle, to find her clothes completely open, so that it’s just the nappy to get to. Just because he can’t be bothered to do up a couple of buttons. Which is an extra few seconds.

•He doesn’t practice safe sleep when he looks after her for me because he want to avoid everything that will wake her up. I often find him sleeping and not keeping an eye on her, with her absolutely covered in blankets unsafely all round her face. I always try to tell him her dangerous if he’s not watching her, and he says “oh she’ll be fine nothing will happen” Everyone always thinks it won’t happen to them. I hate that attitude.

•He’s been sterilising the bottles for me regularly…then the other day I was in the kitchen and saw how he did them😫
1) he didn’t take them apart (mam bottles) because he can’t be bothered to put them all back together afterwards.
2) he only rinsed them with water under the tap. No soapy water at all. No sponge/bottle brush. If I tell him to please use fairy liquid. He says “why, it’s only milk”😵‍💫
3) He then put them in the steriliser still covered in bubbles, didn’t rinse them off.
4) doesn’t measure the amount of water in the steam steriliser just chucks loads in there.
(He does the exact same thing with my pumps, he refuses to take them apart or use soap, even though I’ve told him multiple times.)

I have tried to tell him hundreds of times how to do all of these properly but he gets SO moody. If I even say ONE small thing in a nice way, he huffs and puffs and rolls his eyes and says “can I do it or what, I’m not an idiot”. So I’ll step away, and then I’ll see him do something wrong AGAIN and I’m just cringingggg because I know that If I say something for the second time it genuinely ends up in a bad argument.

All of my family and his family are CONSTANTLY saying he’s such an amazing hands on dad. Always saying “you’re SO lucky he helps you so much, he’s brilliant”….but to me he just creates more work. No one sees these little details. My partner thinks I’m being silly and nitpicking and “just want to moan/nag” when I’m genuinely just trying to communicate/educate him. I always try to say it as nicely as possible to avoid upsetting him but it doesn’t matter, it ends the same way every time.