Mum guilt
Does anyone else get mum guilt when trying to get jobs done around the house? š„ŗš¤
Iāll put my 3-month-old on his play mat or in his bouncer so I can try and get a few bits done around the house, but I end up feeling so guilty watching him play on his own whilst Iām busy doing jobs. I feel like I should be sat playing with him, talking to him or giving him cuddles instead. š„¹
But then if I donāt get anything done, I feel overwhelmed by everything that needs doing, and when I do try to get things done, I feel guilty for not spending every second with him. It feels like I canāt win sometimes. š
I know heās safe, happy and learning while he plays, and I know I canāt spend every minute of the day holding him, but the mum guilt is REAL. ā¤ļø
Please tell me Iām not the only one who feels like this! Does anyone else struggle with the guilt of trying to balance being a mum and keeping on top of the house? š«¶š¼
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Iāve been taking this maternity leave time to get back into painting since my work kept me too exhausted to want to do anything artistic (also being pregnant didnāt help lol). My little one mostly sleeps through the day, but I try to be present during his wake windows, but sometimes Iām right in the middle of dealing with quickly drying wet paint and on a roll that I feel guilty watching him play by himself. You arenāt alone! Iāve been lucky to have my hubby around to help with the house chores during the day, and my sleep schedule is so messed up I usually end up cleaning at 3am while baby is asleep anyways.
As long as you spend quality time with your baby when you can each day, try not to feel too bad when youāre wanting to get things done š
I have a 4.5 month, I used to feel that strongly but I read enough comments by other mums to know that, independent play is good for them. Babies are entertained by so little and doing stuff around the house helps you be a better, more present and calm mother (less overwhelmed).
So yes totally normal to feel so but leaving them to play on their own is important for them! As long as baby is content :)
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Today is my baby shower, one of my friends has let me down due to having no baby sitter however she has been out drinking all night so surely who ever had her child could keep him for a couple more hours ? Maybe Iām thinking selfishly but I just feel like itās an excuse.
Then my mum and sister have been out drinking last night and are now hungover , my sister is asking if she can just stay at home instead.
I feel really upset about this but feel like Iām just being selfish because obviously they have there own lives and they can do as they please
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My little boy will be turning 1 in November, and Iām currently trying to decide between sending him to a nursery or a childminder. Weāve been offered a place at both, so Iād love to hear other peopleās experiences!
The childminder could take him from January for 4 days a week, and she also has two assistants working with her. The main downside is that she takes 6 weeks of annual leave each year, which would mean having to plan all my annual leave around when sheās off.
The nursery wouldnāt be able to take him until mid-April, and they could only offer 3 days a week. However, theyāre only closed for 2 weeks over Christmas.
I did get a better feeling from the nursery in terms of the facilities. It felt more modern, and they had a dedicated sleep room with floor beds for naps, which I really liked.
Iām only returning to work 3 days a week, but choosing the nursery would mean taking 3 weeks of unpaid leave while waiting for his place to start.
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What do you do in those situations? I donāt want to parent other peoples kids and overstep a boundaryā¦ Is it a developmental thing that toddlers suddenly group up and become mean? because Iād be so upset if my lo was doing that to other children
Obviously donāt want to wrap my daughter up in cotton wool either as I know school can have some hard moments and I wonāt always be there to protect her. But what is the right thing to do?
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Firstly Iām looking for preschools in Marin/Sonoma county that are more equipped for smarter children. Her current teachers have her doing kindergarten curriculum.
Also any moms that have experience raising incredibly intelligent kids, and any advice on how you kept up with them?
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Hey everyone, I need some advice regarding toxic families (in laws) . My sister in law and fiance fell out five years ago when he was still living at home, I was in the house at the time of the argument and had to intervene because my fiance got incredibly mad and hit the door instead if his sister. I had to intervene and calm him down which resulted in him moving out and I was living together and him and his sister not speaking until last year, which was when our baby was due. In those four years he attempted to make amends brought her birthday cards gave her money. And she did not make any effort back. His mum would constantly tell him he needs to make more effort which Would upset him, I supported him through all of this. Iād also like to add when I first met my partner he wasnāt speaking to a sister then either and it seems to be a toxic family pattern where they fall out and donāt apologise.
When we found out, I was pregnant his sister did not bother to congratulate me or congratulated me when we got engaged or when we brought our first house.
However, fast forward to when our daughter was born, she thought it was okay to turn up at the hospital with her mum after not even a single message from her. I would just like you to keep in mind my daughter was rushed from my bedside into the NICU and the same day she was coming off her tube feeds and I was trying to breastfeed for the first time. I had made it very clear. I didnāt want any visitors. I was also very unwell with sepsis requiring IV antibiotics.
Fast forward five months later my partner has secretly handed our daughter to her sister to hold while I was in the house and I had made it very clear to him. I didnāt want that to happen. Because for all that time she still did not message me saying congratulations. So I said something which was I didnāt want you to hold her. She then called me a name while holding my baby. Itās completely fractured my relationship with the in-laws, however Iām adamant I havenāt done anything wrong. After someone that builds their social media profile on girlhood to not even congratulate your sister-in-law. I think itās completely two-faced. Iām just wondering what people were doing that situation was I out of line as Iāve been made to feel like Iām the one in the wrong?
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