I feel like my marriage is doomed

My husband and I have a 16 month old and 3 month old. The first time I got to go out after having my now 16 month old was when she was about 8 months old and it was just to a local musical, so about 3.5 hours I was gone. When I got home I found my husband passed out drunk with porn still pulled up on his phone.
We established YEARS ago that porn is a version of infidelity and isn’t tolerated by either of us… or so I thought. This absolutely destroyed my self esteem, as I wasn’t showing with my second yet, and my body had finally recovered enough from my first that I was starting to feel confident and recognize myself. But one little choice on his end, and it solidified every negative thing that I picked apart about myself in the mirror. It told me that I still wasn’t enough. Now, I’m 12 weeks PP with my second and still have zero self esteem because when I looked “my best” he still chose to look at other women. Now his stomach can genuinely be upset, but my mind tells me he’s in the bathroom doing other things. It doesn’t help that our sex life is practically nonexistent because I feel insecure and like he would be comparing me to the women he’s seen online.
On top of that, I feel like I can’t ever leave my babies at home alone with him to have time to myself, because the one time I did for more than a half hour, he got trashed and wouldn’t have even woken up if he was needed, much less been able to take them to the ER if needed.

Am I just crazy for still hurting so bad from this? The worst part is that I know he’s a functioning alcoholic. I’ve begged him to get treatment and he won’t. And now I can’t trust him at all and it all started with him drinking too much to make good choices. And how are you supposed to have a healthy marriage with someone you can’t even trust?

in our community

A little sensitive over my mums grandparent name

I’m due in December with my first baby. My mum and I have a weird relationship, we do get along but we have very different views and can fall out. She’s said she wants to be known as ‘meema’, which I’m really not keen on. To me, it’s too similar to ‘mama’ and ‘mummy’, and as a first time mum, I don’t want that feeling of being called mama to be taken away. Am I just being too sensitive, or am I right to talk to her about it? The thing is she always calls me sensitive over stuff like this, but it’s important to me.

Why are so many parents against tv/screen time?

Me and all my 4 siblings were never “not allowed tv” we had access to it 24/7, we loved it…but we also loved playing together and playing outside. What is so terrible about watching tv?

As an adult who still spends time outside or playing with my kids, all I see is other adults staring at their phone, scrolling on social media…idk I’m just confused why there’s such a stigma around letting a child watch tv i guess.

All these influencers or mums on the playground I hear that say “no tv time for my kids” yet they spend all day everyday on their phone? If it’s damaging, why is there screens quite literally everywhere? Shouldn’t we try to do something about this?

Suggestions

Hey Mamas,

I have a month old baby, and lately, I’ve been struggling to manage everything on my own. My husband frequently wants to go to the gym or play badminton, leaving me responsible for feeding the baby, changing diapers, putting the baby to sleep, and handling most of the other daily responsibilities.

I completely understand that having personal time, hobbies, and staying active is important. However, I feel that with a baby at home, our priorities and routines need to change, at least for a while.

I’ve communicated my feelings to my husband multiple times and asked him to prioritize our baby and share the responsibilities with me. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen much change, and it’s becoming physically and emotionally exhausting to manage everything alone.

I don’t want to stop him from enjoying his hobbies, but I also need support, personal time, and an equal partner in parenting.

I’m genuinely looking for advice from other parents or couples who have experienced something similar. How did you find a balance? How can I help my husband understand my perspective, and are there things I should approach differently?

I’m open to any suggestions because I really want us to work through this together rather than letting it affect our relationship.

I’ve lost attraction to my husband

Like the title says, I’ve lost attraction to my husband. His mom is constantly buying him clothes and frankly I see my husband as less of a man and not an adult because of it. I find it rather gross that she is constantly buying him clothes when he has perfectly good clothes and a wife that can go buy some if needed

Drained

Hey guys I’m currently married and I strongly believe he’s a narcissist, I’m posting this to see if anyone has been in a similar situation. I have no job or car and no family. We have a 1yr old together . I don’t know how to leave

Toddler Tingz

Does anyone else let their 2yr old roam and eat?😂 luckily we have no carpet downstairs but sometimes it’s the only way he’ll eat a full meal 😆 *grab a tortellini, run a lap, come back grab a breadstick, do a pretend phone call* lmao