Confession
So we’re really tight on money and will be for the next year per our budget. Anything extra is going to our huge debt. After 1 yr things should loosen up a little.
Recently I’ve been feeling down about my extra weight. I don’t hold it well. Some women can have extra weight and it sits so beautifully on them, accentuating curves. Me? I have a double chin and my belly is so big even though I’m only ~35 lbs overweight! Only a bit of that has gone to my womanly curves. I have Humpty Dumpty genes. 😩 I’ve been wanting to start losing weight but am holding off as my baby girl is still breastfeeding and I have supply issues. I want to have as much as I can for her until she’s ready to stop.
I haven’t bothered with makeup for quite a while as I just didn’t have the time for it. I used to be super into skincare too. Recently I’ve splurged on a basic skincare routine (serum and moisturizer for night and an spf for mornings) and better shampoo/conditioner since the cheap stuff has made my hair so oily… and that has led to a bigger splurge on this nice eyeliner and lip stain. It was on sale at by 2 get one free 🤦♀️. I’ve hidden these purchases from my husband because I feel so guilty. I’m normally really good about our budget and might color outside the lines for the kiddos once in a while but justa little and never for myself. I also didn’t need new booties ($33) “for my Halloween costume”. 🫣 probably close to $200 all said and done, which is what we did for their birthdays, a special occasion.
I’m going to stop now and just pretend that I already had most of these things already, but I had to confess since it was weighing on me. It was pretty selfish of me. 🙋🏻♀️👺🙅🏻♀️🙇🏻♀️ he’ll probably figure me out eventually. He always does. I’m a terrible liar too. I know this is small fries to some of the issues other moms have but it wasn’t long ago we really didn’t know how we were going to pay for even food; we jumped through hoops to get to where we are now and resolved together to stay frugal for another year until we were in a better position. That’s why I’m so guilty. 😢 😩 probably I’ll end up confessing to him but I don’t have the courage yet.
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I would definitely tell him instead of waiting for him to find out himself because it will make him feel even more betrayed. If you are a SAHM like myself I understand budgets can be tight but it’s extremely selfish to buy things that aren’t needed. A Halloween costume could’ve easily been DIYed from old clothes and makeup. New skin care and makeup because you feel bad for yourself about your weight isn’t right either. Meal prepping using white rice and lean turkey isn’t expensive. I’m also breastfeeding and currently lost 47lbs while eating enough to give me 9-13ounces each pump session. I understand it may have felt good in the moment but adding to your financial hardship while having kids to worry about and making sure they’re fed is extremely selfish. Especially since you stated you didn’t even know how you were going to pay for food… and you still spent that much on yourself and didn’t think how that would affect your children.
Not to make you feel worst because it sounds like you feel guilty enough and understand the consequences of the situation.
However, I just cant see this ever being me. My husband makes an amount I never imagined id see in my life!!! and I literally just bought myself new skin care off amazon. and went with the cheapest even though we can very much afford the expensive brands. I have worked very very hard to get where I am and so has my husband. Ive had to sleep in my car and not know if I was going to be able to eat. Having all the things and money now is overwhelming but i still spend like i have nothing. I go to thrift stores and dollar store. I just cant spend hundreds on items that might take away from money I can spend on my kids or my house or dogs. Im also very fearful of it all going away or losing it so I love to save where I can. When deciding what to do here, i would consider how you would feel if your husband hid something like this from you?
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Confession
So we’re really tight on money and will be for the next year per our budget. Anything extra is going to our huge debt. After 1 yr things should loosen up a little.
Recently I’ve been feeling down about my extra weight. I don’t hold it well. Some women can have extra weight and it sits so beautifully on them, accentuating curves. Me? I have a double chin and my belly is so big even though I’m only ~35 lbs overweight! Only a bit of that has gone to my womanly curves. I have Humpty Dumpty genes. 😩 I’ve been wanting to start losing weight but am holding off as my baby girl is still breastfeeding and I have supply issues. I want to have as much as I can for her until she’s ready to stop.
I haven’t bothered with makeup for quite a while as I just didn’t have the time for it. I used to be super into skincare too. Recently I’ve splurged on a basic skincare routine (serum and moisturizer for night and an spf for mornings) and better shampoo/conditioner since the cheap stuff has made my hair so oily… and that has led to a bigger splurge on this nice eyeliner and lip stain. It was on sale at by 2 get one free 🤦♀️. I’ve hidden these purchases from my husband because I feel so guilty. I’m normally really good about our budget and might color outside the lines for the kiddos once in a while but justa little and never for myself. I also didn’t need new booties ($33) “for my Halloween costume”. 🫣 probably close to $200 all said and done, which is what we did for their birthdays, a special occasion.
I’m going to stop now and just pretend that I already had most of these things already, but I had to confess since it was weighing on me. It was pretty selfish of me. 🙋🏻♀️👺🙅🏻♀️🙇🏻♀️ he’ll probably figure me out eventually. He always does. I’m a terrible liar too. I know this is small fries to some of the issues other moms have but it wasn’t long ago we really didn’t know how we were going to pay for even food; we jumped through hoops to get to where we are now and resolved together to stay frugal for another year until we were in a better position. That’s why I’m so guilty. 😢 😩 probably I’ll end up confessing to him but I don’t have the courage yet.
3
Not as excited about second baby?
This is my second baby - my first is 17 months and so a complete whirlwind at the moment. He’s still a terrible sleeper and can be a handful but 90% lovely 😅
With my first we tried for years and from the moment we found out we were giddy with excitement. With the second we fell pregnant first try and I’m not feeling as excited… I’m 17 weeks.
I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have time to be excited as such as all my thoughts are with the toddler, or if it’s because I’m exhausted from the lack of sleep, or if the excitement will simply come especially when I start to get a bump etc. If I look to the future and think about the bond my children will hopefully have and the family trips etc then I’m excited, but I’m just not feeling excited right now to have a newborn added to the already exhausted state (we thought we would have to try for years again to conceive - not get lucky first time, hence why we started trying now)
Anybody else feel like this if on their second or more pregnancy?!
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