Am I asking too much to want help when my partner gets home from work?
Tonight I cooked two different meals and put our twin girls to bed. When I came back, I still had the kitchen to clean and toys all over the living room. I told him I wish he would want to help when he sees me struggling, and he got mad.
We had a conversation, and I tried explaining that sometimes I need him with the girls and the house because I feel like I’m doing everything by myself. All he heard was that I think he doesn’t do enough. He kept bringing up how much pressure he feels having to provide for us and that he lets my family stay here.
I understand providing is stressful, and I’m not saying what he does doesn’t matter. But I need support too. I wish he would notice what needs doing and take some of it off my plate without it turning into an argument.
How do you get your partner to understand that needing more help doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate what they already do? I’m tired, and I want to feel like we’re a team.
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Have you tried asking him in a loving calm way?
What's his work schedule like hours he is at work? How old ur the twins?
Trending
in our community
Just looking for support
Hi everyone! I’m a 20yo mom to a beautiful baby 8month baby girl. My world seems to have been shattered last night when I saw these deleted messages to his ex who he was with before me on my fiancés phone this morning (he has sent them, deleted it, and then silenced the convo so no notifications would come up). He said he was drunk and doesn’t even recall sending that (like that’s any better lmao). We’ve had issues bc of his following and liking habits of certain kinds of content on tiktok but this is beyond what I would have expected. I’m absolutely gutted and I feel like my world just ended. I hate how I wasn’t enough for him, I haven’t even been able to look at myself properly after seeing his likes and saves and now this has be disgusted in myself. I have bpd and the stress is giving me an endometriosis flare right now, I don’t have friends I can talk to. I’m making this post so I can at least pretend to talk to someone who will listen. Thank you for reading 🩷 edit: he’s been playing video games the whole night, literally 0 mention of what happened or our conversation lmao
4
30
Cheating…
Hey, this is a bit sad and I’m struggling a bit on my own with a newborn, and my partner is being so off and I haven’t seen him in almost a month and I have reason to believe he is cheating and have no one else to talk to about this… I’m just wondering if anyone else is or has been in the same boat? It’s a bit of a lonely and awful boat to be in currently…
1
3
Would you be upset?
So I am upset about 2 things;
My family (parents, my siblings and their partners) went out to dinner last night for my sisters birthday.
My partner and I were sitting at the end and were the first to arrive. My brother and SIL arrived next and were polite but they sat down 2 seats away from us, my brother on my side, my SIL on my son's. One side of the table was a long booth. This is issue one.
During dinner, I was using chopsticks and while I am not bad, I am not profficiant. I asked my partner how he uses chopsticks so well and he responded "because i'm not a retard". I told him I hate that word and he knows it so why did he use it and asked why he called me an r. He didn't respond. This is issue 2.
I am feeling more hurt about what my partner did but am upset in general.
11
Advice needed
I feel like I am at breaking point with my relationship. We’ve been together 3 years, we’re engaged and have a 20 month old together.
However, he does nothing around the house. He doesn’t help with dinner, bath or bed. I WFH 3 days a week and 1 day in the office so my WFH days, our daughter finishes at 1PM and he finishes work at 3PM so the plan was meant to be he would take care of her until I finish work once he’s home but he doesn’t so I have to work after our daughter whilst trying to work, which is difficult with a toddler😂
My problem is, we live an hour and a half away from my family so going back there isn’t really an option as I’d be moving my daughter away from her nursery, which she loves and his family. We currently live with his nan as we were saving for a house and our wedding.
I just don’t know what to do, I can only tell him how I feel so many times and I just feel like I have no one to talk to.
1
8
Help from partners
Hey everyone, I'm feeling so frustrated with the lack of support from my partner. He feels like his role is earning money and mine is mothering but he doesn't have any boundaries with stopping work in the evenings to come and help me. We have argued about it so much and nothing changes. He doesn't take our daughter to any groups, swimming etc. even though he has a very flexible working week and has time to do extra curricular activities himself!
Is anyone else experiencing this? Or how much are your partners helping? I need to know if I'm expecting too much here 😭
2
9
How many snacks are too many?!
Our LG has 3 meals and 2 snacks at nursery (albeit small I'm sure) then comes home and demands more. Guidance is 3 meals and 2 snack a day, but this kid eats between 4 and 7 snacks!! She's skinny, but she's an eating machine! Is this normal or something I need to watch out for?
11
Download the Peanut App
