How do you guys manage stress?!
Everyday I’m drowning. My husband is currently detained. Has been since February. I don’t know what’s going to happen to him. Dealing with attorneys. I have two small children. Almost 4 and just turned 1. Both boys. A few months go I had to sell everything I own and move across the country back to my dad’s house. I have 3 disabled siblings too that have had a hard time adjusting to my active kids living with them. They’ve been acting out. My oldest was diagnosed on the spectrum. Getting him into school has been a battle. I’m working on getting him into ABA but he won’t start until mid January if not later because of grant approval. I tried to get him into speech and OT at least. Insurance only covers 12 sessions only and they won’t do them separately. So I have to wait until January for that too.
My oldest is a handful. I can’t take him anywhere. I can’t sit more than 5 minutes without needing to check on him to make sure he’s not breaking something or getting into something dangerous. My youngest is learning from my oldest. Acting out. Tantrums starting early. Won’t sit to eat. Everyday we have to leave around noon and be gone for a few hours so my disabled sister can eat after she gets out from her day program. If my oldest is home. She won’t eat. So we’re stuck in the car for 2 to 3 hours at a time. Over the weekend is awful with everyone home. And I have nowhere to go with my kids. I have family around me but they don’t help. Just criticize and complain when my oldest acts out or tries to give me parenting advice that is simply not helpful. When we are home I am constantly on edge to make sure my kids aren’t around my sister because she gets nervous and has tried to hurt my kids before for simply being around her. And my dad has done nothing about this.
I feel like I can’t breathe. I’m in debt. Tried to get a job at a daycare and bring my kids with me but they weren’t accommodating for my oldest so I had to quit. Can’t even look for work until my oldest gets into ABA and even then. It’s going to be difficult.
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So sorry you're going through all this! I do not have good advice for managing stress, I tend to just "power through" and occasionally snap a bit (not a good way to deal). As for the weekends and/or afternoons, is there a park nearby you can take your kids to so they can run out some energy? Just wondering because you mentioned being in the car for hours and being stuck at home, and parks are free. Also check Facebook for a local mom's group for children on the spectrum. They might be able to help you find local and free things to do that are sensory friendly
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Am I overreacting? Feeling overwhelmed and just need to rant
I was so overwhelmed yday and by the time husband came in I hadn't made dinner, told him to give baby his milk. I come back and baby is running around whilst he's on his phone, says baby needs me. I put him sleep then I clean up his bath, his high chair and the floor whilst he's fallen asleep on the floor, then I finish the food ate and he fell asleep with the plate on the sofa. I wash everything up, put things away. Did the laundry, cleaned the whole place, sorted food by the end I was exhausted and done. All I need for him was to help maybe just wash his bottles one less thing to do for me. I had a cry but he seemed to take no notice. I completely get that he is working long hours and is tired but I literally have no time for myself - he gets to leave anything to get a haircut or do whatever
Thi morning he left at 6.3am to travel far for work and said he will pop into his aunty for an hour and come
Back by midday. I ended up going to my parents and he came at midnight to pick me up and didn't even bother communicating with me that he's going to be late. Am like I don't get to just go and sit down for hours and hours and chat away. I don't get the time to do anything,
I'm with him 24/7 even when he napping I'm not sitting down I'm prepping his food tidying or having a shower but he can jsut carry on without any mind. I got so annoyed that he had just stayed there the whole day whereas he really could have left early as he has responsibilities here.
I'm so fed up that I'm constantly doing everything, he's self employed and works round the clock and I get that but gosh I don't get a break. He says that I'm being unreasonable for getting annoyed at him for leaving the whole day. Especially after yesterday I'm already so overwhelmed and you have left didn't even help out or change baby in the morning which he never does and thinks I'm being unreasonable.. am I just overreacting?
4
Is this a disrespectful text message?
I want to be honest with you, and I don't wish to cause you any stress or upset you. I just need to get this off my chest because I don't want my feelings to continue building up.
Some things have made me uncomfortable, like cutting Raphael's hair without asking me and taking the kids into rooms and closing the doors. These things have contributed to my lack of trust because I feel like you want to do what you want with my children without respecting my boundaries as their mother. My children's safety and well-being will always come first, and I need to know that my rules will be respected.
I don't care what Michael tells you about me or what you think of me. I know I'm a good mom, and my children are loved, cared for, and safe. I have tried to encourage a relationship between you and the kids because I want them to have a relationship with their grandparents.
I'm willing to give babysitting a try while Michael is away because I want you to have that opportunity, but I want to be honest that I'm not completely comfortable with it because of the trust issues I have. I need to know that you can respect me as their mother, even when you don't agree with my decisions. I don't want to keep you from your grandchildren, but I do need to feel that my boundaries will be respected. I hope we can understand each other better and move forward with mutual respect.
17
Starting solids
My baby is turning 3 months on November 5th and I REALLYYY want to have her try foods for thanksgiving. Is it to early? I want to l purée some foods and put breast milk in it to thin it down a lot. I was thinking about calling and asking her pediatrician aswell. She already seems to be interested in food, every time I eat she stares at my food and smack her lips together.
9
Housing
Does anyone know if there’s a way I can get help with housing? I’m currently living at home with a 2 month old baby + my partner but with a toxic relationship with the family. I don’t feel welcome or comfortable here. The whole situation caused me to get depression whilst pregnant which has only got worse since baby is here. I’ve been put on medication and referred to the mental health team but I’d love to get to the root of the issue and try to leave. I haven’t been able to enjoy my experience at all. I absolutely hate it here.
I don’t earn much money with my job (10k per year or less if I take unpaid leave for a holiday) because I’ve got my own business & 90% of my money goes on the rent on the property + water + electric & putting money in to the business, so I don’t take home a decent wage to live off.
My partner has only just very recently (8 weeks ago) started a business earning good money (67k per year before tax) but he’s currently spending most of his earnings on new tools and equipment and uniforms and vehicles etc. So he won’t be keeping the money until he’s fully set up if that makes sense.
So neither of us have savings to move out.
If I earnt his money I’d definitely save to move out but I feel like it’s unfair of me to ask him to do it all 100% on his own.
Government wise I don’t think I can get help with housing because I’m not homeless and have a place here to stay, although I really can’t bare to be here any longer, they won’t see it that way.
My dad earns a very high wage working in central London so if they look in to that, they will be very unlikely to help me. Even though my dad doesn’t help is out financially at all (apart from not charging us rent) he never offered to buy 1 thing for the baby. I got EVERYTHING second hand.
I was wondering if anyone knew if I’m entitled to anything, even though I’m 99% sure I’m not. I need to find a way out !!
My partner doesn’t want to rent anywhere before anyone suggests it because we’ll be stuck not being able to save to buy, he’d rather us get a mortgage one day but that won’t be for many many years to come.
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Breakfast at nursery
This might be stupid but my 13 month old starts nursery 3 days a week tomorrow and, since she'll be starting at 8am, they'll be giving her breakfast.
But I have to wake my daughter up at half 6 and drop her with my mum at 7 so thats a really long time for her to not eat. Should i get her a smaller breakfast at home to tie her over to nursery breakfast or should i just give her her normal breakfast and then if she doesn't eat the nursery breakfast its not really an issue?
How do other people play this?
8
How do you guys manage stress?!
Everyday I’m drowning. My husband is currently detained. Has been since February. I don’t know what’s going to happen to him. Dealing with attorneys. I have two small children. Almost 4 and just turned 1. Both boys. A few months go I had to sell everything I own and move across the country back to my dad’s house. I have 3 disabled siblings too that have had a hard time adjusting to my active kids living with them. They’ve been acting out. My oldest was diagnosed on the spectrum. Getting him into school has been a battle. I’m working on getting him into ABA but he won’t start until mid January if not later because of grant approval. I tried to get him into speech and OT at least. Insurance only covers 12 sessions only and they won’t do them separately. So I have to wait until January for that too.
My oldest is a handful. I can’t take him anywhere. I can’t sit more than 5 minutes without needing to check on him to make sure he’s not breaking something or getting into something dangerous. My youngest is learning from my oldest. Acting out. Tantrums starting early. Won’t sit to eat. Everyday we have to leave around noon and be gone for a few hours so my disabled sister can eat after she gets out from her day program. If my oldest is home. She won’t eat. So we’re stuck in the car for 2 to 3 hours at a time. Over the weekend is awful with everyone home. And I have nowhere to go with my kids. I have family around me but they don’t help. Just criticize and complain when my oldest acts out or tries to give me parenting advice that is simply not helpful. When we are home I am constantly on edge to make sure my kids aren’t around my sister because she gets nervous and has tried to hurt my kids before for simply being around her. And my dad has done nothing about this.
I feel like I can’t breathe. I’m in debt. Tried to get a job at a daycare and bring my kids with me but they weren’t accommodating for my oldest so I had to quit. Can’t even look for work until my oldest gets into ABA and even then. It’s going to be difficult.
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