Relationship problems

It sounds like your fiance isn’t carrying the weight. It’s hard to put on a happy face when you don’t feel supported. There are division of labor worksheets online you can download and work through together to get a better sense of what each person thinks is fair and reasonable. I’m sorry you are going through this.

First of all, you’re an amazing mama! My husband is home for 12 weeks, does all the diapers and half the night feeds and I’m still so tired-so you’re super mom over here! He shouldn’t be complaining one bit. He gets to leave the house and go talk to other adults and resume back to his life, but you’re experiencing a whole new life, and one that isn’t always enjoyable! Yes, a baby is fun in theory, but they are sooooo much work-let alone while your body is sleep deprived and recovering from major surgery!

I’m not sure how to get him to have his perspective changed, maybe have him do a full day alone with the little guy if you trust him; but if he’s going to be like this, this early on, then I don’t think he’ll understand moving forward how much your life changed moving forward.

All in all, you’re an amazing mom, he should step up, and you shouldn’t be feeling bad about yourself at all from anyone else, you should be praised for this time!

Honestly if my husband ever said something like that it would be the last day he breathed. Tell him to shut the fuck up and give you a year to find your rhythm again and if he still has the issues with you that he currently has, then don’t get married. Also tell him that if he got cut open through 7 layers and sewed up all to immediately take care of a baby with no recovery time at all. My husband at least waited until i was like 6-7m pp before starting these type of issues hahaha

Red flag 🚩 mama. You teal husband would never speak to you like that

You're doing a great job!
You are still in the trenches this is your first baby, your baby is still so so young and you are still recovering! It takes a long time to get used to this new life and recover fully. You are doing just fine.

The way some of these men can act after a woman has been through pregnancy and birth is beyond me! What an actual joke!

Also, a good idea to talk to your OB, if he’s making you feel like this, please watch out for feeling sadness and postpartum depression. Not having a supportive partner can lead to this 🩷

He sounds like an entitled asshole.

I am so sorry this man is treating you this way. My husband was on paternity leave for 3 weeks and we have a very high needs baby. He got his eyes open to just how much time is spent feeding, changing and attempting to soothe a baby. Around the clock. And then add in the loneliness of having no one to talk to all day?? Forget it. It seems like this man of yours needs to take a vacation day to be home with you and see the reality of how hard this is and how easily we fall into isolation and why we can easily be unhappy. He needs a break when he gets home?? Girl, you deserve a break. This is a 24/7 job!!