Feeling like a failure
Anyone else just feel like they’re failing as a mom?
Yesterday my baby girl had a doctors appointment and my husband had to work so it was just me and her. We went to the dr and everything was great. After the appointment I was hungry so we went to a restaurant. When we parked, she had to be changed and fed. I fed her and changed her in the trunk on the bassinet part of the stroller because my backseat was too cramped and I hate public bathrooms. We’ve never used the bassinet and it had been in the trunk since we got the stroller (before she was born). I was in a pinch so I changed her, put her in the bassinet, and went about my merry way.
Later that evening I tell my husband about that experience and he mentioned how dusty the bassinet must’ve been and I just felt like pure shit after that. He didn’t mean it in a way to attack me or make me feel bad, it was just an observation he made. But I took it as like there was something wrong with me because I didn’t think about how dusty it was, I just needed a place to change her quickly. Since then I’ve just been mentally harping on that thought and feel like I’ve been failing as a parent because I didn’t clean the bassinet before using it.
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Don’t be so hard on yourself!! That doesn’t constitute as failure one bit. It was in a trunk, not left outside, how dusty could it actually be? No matter what, it was also probably cleaner than the public bathroom 🤷♀️ you got her to her doctors appt, you made sure she had a clean diaper. You are doing amazing!! We all need to give ourselves more grace
You are doing the absolute best you can - you know how I can tell you are a good mum? Because you change your baby, and you have concern for their welfare! A little bit of dust is such a small thing in the grand scheme of things!
Omg noooo. Don’t think that. It wouldn’t have crossed my mind either. And clearly didn’t matter. If she wasn’t covered in dust, clearly it wasn’t bad. Gotta let that go. You did a great job. I was reading your post and thinking “yes yes amazing, look at her go… where’s the issue?”
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Am I being ungrateful, or am I asking for the bare minimum?
I'm a stay-at-home mom to an almost 2-year-old. My partner works and pays our household bills, which are around $350–$400 a month, excluding his personal expenses. Sometimes he also gives me an allowance of about $500, which I appreciate.
I do the majority of the cooking, cleaning, childcare, and pretty much everything that comes with running the household.
Here's where I'm struggling. Sometimes I get frustrated because I want him to help more around the house or take care of our daughter so I can go to the gym, have some time to myself, or simply rest without having to worry about the baby.
I understand that he works and financially supports us, and I'm grateful for that. But sometimes I feel like because I'm a stay-at-home mom, I'm expected to be on duty 24/7, while he gets to clock out.
I don't want to feel guilty for wanting time to take care of myself, too.
So, moms, please be honest with me. Am I being ungrateful because he pays the bills and sometimes gives me money? Should I just accept that the household and childcare are my responsibilities? Or is it reasonable to expect him to share some of those responsibilities even though I'm not financially contributing right now?
I genuinely want different perspectives because sometimes I question whether I'm asking for too much or whether my feelings are valid.
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Feeling like a failure
Anyone else just feel like they’re failing as a mom?
Yesterday my baby girl had a doctors appointment and my husband had to work so it was just me and her. We went to the dr and everything was great. After the appointment I was hungry so we went to a restaurant. When we parked, she had to be changed and fed. I fed her and changed her in the trunk on the bassinet part of the stroller because my backseat was too cramped and I hate public bathrooms. We’ve never used the bassinet and it had been in the trunk since we got the stroller (before she was born). I was in a pinch so I changed her, put her in the bassinet, and went about my merry way.
Later that evening I tell my husband about that experience and he mentioned how dusty the bassinet must’ve been and I just felt like pure shit after that. He didn’t mean it in a way to attack me or make me feel bad, it was just an observation he made. But I took it as like there was something wrong with me because I didn’t think about how dusty it was, I just needed a place to change her quickly. Since then I’ve just been mentally harping on that thought and feel like I’ve been failing as a parent because I didn’t clean the bassinet before using it.
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I signed him up for 3 days a week and now panicking as I’m current job hunting and not sure how I can get one that’s 3 days a week.
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