End of our marriage?

Venting Long story short, I had my second child which my husband and I agreed we would only have two children and it didn't matter if they were the same sex which ours are. I recently put in my iud and he's clearly upset about and called me selfish. I absolutely do not want anymore children esp that I'm in 40s and working full time and do 90% of the parenting. I even said even if I considered having a 3rd child would you pay the bills and I raise the kids he said no that's not an option and we would continue paying 50/50 for everything including child care. Like why would I agree to that? I honestly think it's because he don't have control or say of my body and because he doesn't have a boy. I went to traumatic pregnancies and had to deal with my husband on and off personalities and can not see me doing this all over again for the 3rd time. Not sure if our marriage will survive.

in our community

How many meals a day?

How many meals should a 7 month old have in a day? I'm still breastfeeding and today I pumped because I have a KIT day and noticed that I haven't pumped much at all. Baby has been gaining weight though and going up in percentiles.

Baby not clingy

Hey! Is anyone else’s baby not clingy at all?😂 my son is 9 months old and I’ve been waiting for the dreaded separation anxiety to kick in but that’s not happening lol. He will let anyone put him to bed and anyone hold him, never reaches for me or looks for me in a room and it is sort of upsetting me😂 I know some of my friends babies will not let them even leave the room or want to be held by them and only them but that’s not the case with my son. I feel he would be fine going off with a stranger at this point😂

Is my son just super independent or will it come??

MIL comment to her son

My MIL always tells my husband to take it easy because he’s only one person. We have 3 little ones. Would you take her comment the wrong way? I feel it sounds like she thinks he does everything and I don’t do enough? Or is it just figure of speech?

I came to a realization

Last night my boyfriend of almost 6 years said he was gonna cook dinner because I was feeling like crap because I had got my period. But before we could make dinner we needed to go do laundry (we don’t have our own washer and dryer so we go to the laundry mat) well the whole time we were there he just started at his phone watching TikTok’s and I was chasing our daughter around and entertaining her by reading books and making up little games for her and he never looked up to help or participate despite knowing how much I was cramping and feeling like crap. Then we got home and he immediately laid down on the couch instead of starting on dinner and it was already late so I knew our daughter needed to eat and go to bed. So I cooked dinner and what did he do? Laid on the couch messing around with his tablet while I had our daughter climbing all over me and crying and fussing because she wanted to help but my back was hurting so I couldn’t hold her while I was cooking. Then what really sent me over the edge and pushed me to this realization is that my daughter wouldn’t sit down. We don’t have a high chair or a table right now so she just climbs around and can’t sit still and I kept asking her to sit down so she could eat and she would get up and start climbing and almost fell on her face because she slipped. But luckily I caught her just in time. All the while he’s already finished eating and it’s just sitting watching TV and half falling asleep. So I ask if he can help feed her so I can eat and he proceeds to yell at her to sit down and shoves a big bite of food in her mouth to which I say that’s a really big bite for her and she asks for me and he tells her NO ! No mama leave mama alone you need to sit down and be still. She starts crying really hard because he said no about her coming with me and she started choking on the giant bite of food to which he said see that’s what happens now stop crying and she starts crying even harder so I grab her and calm her down and tell him that I didn’t need him to yell at her or scold her I just needed him to help feed her while I ate really quick and he didn’t respond. I took over feeding her and he started dozing off on the couch. We a little while later she randomly just slapped him on his cheek and I obviously told her not to and to use gentle hands and stuff and he just got really mad and left the room. He went and laid on the bed. (The bed wasn’t made because we washed the sheets and blankets) so I asked if he was just not going to make the bed and he didn’t respond just got up with a big attitude and made the bed. Then he went to sleep. Didn’t help clean up or put away the leftovers for his lunch or help get her ready for bed. She then slaps me on the face as well just randomly and I tell her the same things and she says sorry and gives me a hug and we move on. After I finish feeding her and cleaning up a bit I take her to the room to get her ready for bed and at this point it’s past her bedtime and she’s grumpy and fighting me about everything! I’m taking her through her feelings and trying to just remain collected while she’s throwing a tantrum. He gets annoyed at her crying and gets up and grabs his phone and charger and goes out to the couch to sleep instead. She is very confused by this and starts asking for him and she thinks he’s in the bathroom so I just go along with it and tell her he will be back so to just go to sleep but she doesn’t like going to sleep when he’s not in the room and he didn’t even say goodnight. She knew he was mad about her hitting and started saying sorry dada sorry dada and I was like it’s okay baby you’re learning. We already talked about it and you know you’re not supposed to hit. I get her to sleep and he comes back. Doesn’t say a word just plugs his charger back in and goes to sleep I’m crying very quietly to myself but just crying because in that moment I realized that our relationship is just over. And I don’t know where I went so wrong or how I got to this point. But I don’t want my daughter growing up thinking she deserves to be treated that way or that she’s too much. She’s gonna be 2 in 4 months and we have just barely entered this stage of defiance and being physical. She randomly just hits and I know that this is normal for her age and have told him so many times that we have to just stay calm and consistent with how we correct it and he doesn’t listen. He gets so mad everytime and when she tries to apologize (on her own btw like I don’t tell her to apologize she does it in her own time when she’s ready) he will either ignore her or will get mad again and tell her he doesn’t care that she shouldn’t do that. And she doesn’t understand and gets sad and starts crying. Or he will hit her back and I’ve told him so many times that that makes it a game for her and so not to do it and a few times he’s been pretty rough about it and made her cry. She’s not one of those kids who just cries about anything she’s actually really tough souses me off when he does shit like that. He acts like she’s an older child that knows better despite the fact that she’s 1. I’m at a loss because I don’t have anywhere to go and I can’t support her on my own. I’ve been applying for jobs and just keep getting rejected. But I can see that this isn’t getting better and I can’t stand to put my child through having an immature father and I’m just so frustrated and angry at myself for picking the wrong guy. Mind you he wanted to be a dad and he was never like this before but I just feel like I’ve been in fight or flight for a little while now because I don’t want to have to share custody. I don’t trust him with her by himself because he’s always on the damn phone not paying attention or he’s just aggressive with her. He has no patients. It’s not that I think he would harm her I just think accidents would happen because he wouldn’t be passing attention and I think emotionally he would not be good for her anytime she gets hurt or cries about anything he just tells her she’s fine and it’s not a big deal to just stop and I hate that. I don’t know what to do but it really hit me last night that I can’t do this with him

Am I in the wrong

Am I in the wrong?

Me and my partner had our first baby 6 weeks ago. I had a c section and whilst he was on paternity leave he was great. He helped around the house, helped with changing etc.

Since he’s started back at work it’s all gone down hill. I need to ask him majority (not all) but majority if the time to either hold her whilst I get jobs done or change her. He will cook for us and occasionally do some chores but otherwise I feel like I’m nagging him to do stuff around the house.

I EBF so I understand he can’t help with feeding in the night but I’m up changing her and feeding her in the night and I feel like I’m up with her majority of the day too. He’ll go on his game whilst I’m sat downstairs with the baby.

Today I had a migraine so I asked if he could have the baby whilst I nap for an hour but then I felt bad for doing it.

Don’t get me wrong he’s a good dad but he’s got lazy when it comes to helping me out. That’s what I think with this situation anyway I don’t know if I’m overthinking it.

Lunch ideas.

Hi all, my 18 month old does not like normal lunch things and I am stuck with ideas. He doesn’t like sandwiches, wraps, omelettes, pin wheels, quiche. He is allergic to dairy, tomatoes and peppers. Does anyone have any lunch ideas? At the moment when he isn’t at nursery his lunch involves 2 packets of sweetcorn crisps and fruit