am i being extreme or what?
when i was around 7/8 months pregnant, i went through my husbands phone and saw he was liking 30+ women’s pictures on twitter, one of them were even prompting to like the picture if you would dm them, and he liked it. i wanted a divorce (not valid in my religion during pregnancy anyways) but he pleaded, did the most, cried, said he made a mistake and whatever tf he said. he changed his phone password lol, i asked for the new one, he gave it to me but thought i wouldn’t remember it, anyways now 14 months postpartum, we’re so distant romantically, my attraction and trust for him have never been the same but i was still trying you know? he almost never initiates sex, i co sleep and breast fed my LO to sleep and have been struggling so bad to stop i’ve been exhausted so i pleaded him to help me wean her off, so i can have time for myself and our marriage, he was always nonchalant about it, unbothered, delaying, anyways the other day something urged me to check his phone, i find he has been looking for masturbating sex toys and local escorts, happy ending erotic massage services. Lol another part of me has died, i confront him and he says i pushed him to that, that he’s never actually done anything physically he was just looking because he was angry at me (nothing happened on the day btw we even had a good evening out as a family but i guess he forgot to get his story straight) proceeds to list all the issues he has (ive been evil, i bully him apparently, i project my external issues with others onto him, i demasculate him, i never listen etc…) proceeds to cry a few tears, i just zoned out mid conversation, i feel like i was already quite emotionally checked out prior to what i saw, very sexually deprived/unsatisfied (i even find myself thinking about experiences with other people from the past, btw these exs have also tried reaching out several times during my marriage and i just block, he doesn’t even know the temptations ive been fighting and staying loyal to our marriage and has the audacity) anyways i’ve been thinking about how divorce life would be for ages (because of constant personality clashes, low romantic feelings/attraction etc), now i think this is a reason for divorce? but im a sahm, im completing my university degree (have like 2.5 years left) since i found out he has been doing the most, chores, compliments, giving me time to nap, even fully took care of bed time without me breast feeding for the first time, i really want a divorce but now im like should i stay till i finish this degree, save up whatever i can, apply for a jobs abroad, surprise him with a divorce and heal from the divorce in a fresh new life abroad with my daughter. Idk man, why can’t men be normal, i was actually such a good wife to him i just have no support from family since the beginning of my postpartum till this day, i didn’t get a full night sleep for 14 months ( i wake up around 7-15 times in the night) until last night, he has been so incompetent and sees almost the bare minimum as being a good husband and dad, when it’s just not enough for me. Now another part of my love for him has just died and burned away, men really do love bitches, and i think it’s time to be the biggest bitch until i think it’s my time to go. And the way i feel now i couldn’t care less if he sleeps with the neighbors dog or whoever, he really killed a part of me, if he couldn’t respect me as a wife or partner he could’ve at least respected me as the mother of his child, but no. So game on i guess 🤝
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I have felt the same exact way before. You stay and stay until any resemblance of love you might have had left for them dies. Theres something almost empowering yet heartbreaking abiut that feeling. Knowing your free from what kept you holding on for so long but also having to let go when you just wanted that person to love you and put the effort in. Im sorry youre going through this 🥺💔
If you zoned out mid conversation while he was talking and crying it seems like there is no love or respect left. And if you compare him to your exes well.. no judgement here but Is that allowed in your religion lol. I think Comparing him to your ex is far more sinful than liking some pics. And then using him to get your degree agh!
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am i being extreme or what?
when i was around 7/8 months pregnant, i went through my husbands phone and saw he was liking 30+ women’s pictures on twitter, one of them were even prompting to like the picture if you would dm them, and he liked it. i wanted a divorce (not valid in my religion during pregnancy anyways) but he pleaded, did the most, cried, said he made a mistake and whatever tf he said. he changed his phone password lol, i asked for the new one, he gave it to me but thought i wouldn’t remember it, anyways now 14 months postpartum, we’re so distant romantically, my attraction and trust for him have never been the same but i was still trying you know? he almost never initiates sex, i co sleep and breast fed my LO to sleep and have been struggling so bad to stop i’ve been exhausted so i pleaded him to help me wean her off, so i can have time for myself and our marriage, he was always nonchalant about it, unbothered, delaying, anyways the other day something urged me to check his phone, i find he has been looking for masturbating sex toys and local escorts, happy ending erotic massage services. Lol another part of me has died, i confront him and he says i pushed him to that, that he’s never actually done anything physically he was just looking because he was angry at me (nothing happened on the day btw we even had a good evening out as a family but i guess he forgot to get his story straight) proceeds to list all the issues he has (ive been evil, i bully him apparently, i project my external issues with others onto him, i demasculate him, i never listen etc…) proceeds to cry a few tears, i just zoned out mid conversation, i feel like i was already quite emotionally checked out prior to what i saw, very sexually deprived/unsatisfied (i even find myself thinking about experiences with other people from the past, btw these exs have also tried reaching out several times during my marriage and i just block, he doesn’t even know the temptations ive been fighting and staying loyal to our marriage and has the audacity) anyways i’ve been thinking about how divorce life would be for ages (because of constant personality clashes, low romantic feelings/attraction etc), now i think this is a reason for divorce? but im a sahm, im completing my university degree (have like 2.5 years left) since i found out he has been doing the most, chores, compliments, giving me time to nap, even fully took care of bed time without me breast feeding for the first time, i really want a divorce but now im like should i stay till i finish this degree, save up whatever i can, apply for a jobs abroad, surprise him with a divorce and heal from the divorce in a fresh new life abroad with my daughter. Idk man, why can’t men be normal, i was actually such a good wife to him i just have no support from family since the beginning of my postpartum till this day, i didn’t get a full night sleep for 14 months ( i wake up around 7-15 times in the night) until last night, he has been so incompetent and sees almost the bare minimum as being a good husband and dad, when it’s just not enough for me. Now another part of my love for him has just died and burned away, men really do love bitches, and i think it’s time to be the biggest bitch until i think it’s my time to go. And the way i feel now i couldn’t care less if he sleeps with the neighbors dog or whoever, he really killed a part of me, if he couldn’t respect me as a wife or partner he could’ve at least respected me as the mother of his child, but no. So game on i guess 🤝
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