Pregnant, newly married and feeling incredibly lonely. Has anyone else experienced this?
I’m 29 and currently pregnant. I think I just need somewhere to get everything off my chest and hear from other people who might understand.
My husband and I met about a year and a half ago, and the first year of our relationship was an absolute dream. He’s still a good man, and I love him, but so much has changed in such a short space of time.
About five months ago, I found out I was pregnant. It wasn’t planned, and honestly, I wasn’t even sure I wanted children. If I did, I always imagined having them at least five years from now.
Since then, we’ve decided to get married (partly influenced by pressure from his Muslim family, but also because I wanted to be married before having children), had the most amazing wedding and moved into our own home. I’ve also moved my entire life to another country to be with him.
It’s an enormous amount of change in such a short period of time.
I’ve gradually started noticing a shift in our relationship. My husband feels emotionally unavailable, and whenever I try to have a deeper conversation about how I’m feeling, he’s often tired or doesn’t seem interested in engaging. I don’t feel as connected to him as I used to.
Our sex life has also changed significantly. I can tell he doesn’t seem to feel the same level of attraction towards me since I’ve become pregnant. He’s said he finds it difficult to sexualise me now that I’m pregnant, and we’re having sex much less frequently. When he tells me I’m beautiful, sometimes it feels forced rather than genuine.
This has been particularly difficult because I’m already struggling with my changing body and have a history of body image issues.
On top of everything, I’ve moved away from my friends, family and everything familiar. I work remotely, so I don’t have many opportunities to meet people, and I feel incredibly isolated.
I love my husband, and I don’t want to paint him as a bad person. But I feel like we’ve gone from being a couple who were completely in love and enjoying life to suddenly being married, homeowners and expecting parents without really having time to adjust to any of it.
I’m scared that having a baby and going through so many changes so quickly has made our relationship flatline before we’ve even had the chance to properly build our life together.
I sometimes miss my old life, my independence and the person I was before all of this. Then I feel guilty because I love my baby.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? Did pregnancy change your relationship dynamic? Did you go through a period of feeling disconnected from your partner or less desired? Did things improve after having your baby?
I’d really appreciate hearing from women who’ve been through something similar. I think I just need to know I’m not alone.
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Hey I hear you!
I have been with my husband 3 1/2 years now and we have had ups and downs, periods where I felt like we were strange roommates living together but we always managed to talk it out and grow stronger together after those periods of emotional disconnection. We are now parents to our beautiful baby girl who is going to be three weeks tomorrow.
During pregnancy our sex life practically didn’t exist at all wich I really struggled with as I felt lonely, ugly, fat, unattractive… and now he also stoped showing interest! We managed to talk about it and he explain that he just found it very strange knowing that the baby is inside of me and also he didn’t really like my Bump as he found it hard to connect with the baby as he couldn’t feel her and only saw how miserable and uncomfortable it made me.
The second out daughter was born he became the best dad you could ask for. He is very attentive, loves her to bids and looks after me so well!
Naturally dynamics will change, but things will get better as long as there is open communication.
He obviously feels it too, but might not know how to broach the topic.
Maybe let him know that you would like to have a heart to heart, and give him time to prepare and get all his thoughts down (maybe on paper).
Then you both sit and hash it out.
Also be open to marriage counselling and getting the help of a professional. It could be a religious counsellor or a secular one. Your situation is quite similar to mine in the sense that we went from a fun couple in love and making world travel plans, to an unexpected pregnancy, engagement, living together etc due to religious expectations.
It has taken a massive toll on us as individuals, but I reassure myself with the fact that we are on the same team.
Hey, im 34yrs old and been with my partner for 17years.. we have always been in a loving relationship, tons of laughing, affection and when we finally got pregnant, it magnified all of that, I was someone making his little person. When our baby was born 2month ago, the dynamic of our relationship changed Like he works ALOT (opened up a company when I was 8 month pregnant) . Its almost impossible to have our own time when you have a little one strapped to you 24/7. I felt quite alone and we were honest with eachother about our feelings and he had told me at the moment he doesn't have the emotional bandwidth right now as his company and certain projects have take off.. and that's fine as
Now I know its not me being the reason he is withdrawn.. but ive found new ways to cope and ill be honest, a lot of it is friends and family.. its a whole different world once the baby comes and you need support.. perhaps you should move back for a few months when baby comes?it takes a village to raise a child as they say..
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Pregnant, newly married and feeling incredibly lonely. Has anyone else experienced this?
I’m 29 and currently pregnant. I think I just need somewhere to get everything off my chest and hear from other people who might understand.
My husband and I met about a year and a half ago, and the first year of our relationship was an absolute dream. He’s still a good man, and I love him, but so much has changed in such a short space of time.
About five months ago, I found out I was pregnant. It wasn’t planned, and honestly, I wasn’t even sure I wanted children. If I did, I always imagined having them at least five years from now.
Since then, we’ve decided to get married (partly influenced by pressure from his Muslim family, but also because I wanted to be married before having children), had the most amazing wedding and moved into our own home. I’ve also moved my entire life to another country to be with him.
It’s an enormous amount of change in such a short period of time.
I’ve gradually started noticing a shift in our relationship. My husband feels emotionally unavailable, and whenever I try to have a deeper conversation about how I’m feeling, he’s often tired or doesn’t seem interested in engaging. I don’t feel as connected to him as I used to.
Our sex life has also changed significantly. I can tell he doesn’t seem to feel the same level of attraction towards me since I’ve become pregnant. He’s said he finds it difficult to sexualise me now that I’m pregnant, and we’re having sex much less frequently. When he tells me I’m beautiful, sometimes it feels forced rather than genuine.
This has been particularly difficult because I’m already struggling with my changing body and have a history of body image issues.
On top of everything, I’ve moved away from my friends, family and everything familiar. I work remotely, so I don’t have many opportunities to meet people, and I feel incredibly isolated.
I love my husband, and I don’t want to paint him as a bad person. But I feel like we’ve gone from being a couple who were completely in love and enjoying life to suddenly being married, homeowners and expecting parents without really having time to adjust to any of it.
I’m scared that having a baby and going through so many changes so quickly has made our relationship flatline before we’ve even had the chance to properly build our life together.
I sometimes miss my old life, my independence and the person I was before all of this. Then I feel guilty because I love my baby.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? Did pregnancy change your relationship dynamic? Did you go through a period of feeling disconnected from your partner or less desired? Did things improve after having your baby?
I’d really appreciate hearing from women who’ve been through something similar. I think I just need to know I’m not alone.
1
4
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