Overbearing in laws...
Girls i nees to get this off my chest because i feel like im drowning in my emotions.
How are we coping with overbearing in laws? For some context i have autism and adhd but its very well managed but as expected im ocerly sensative and i understand that i may be over reacting but i also think some lines are being crossed.
So im pregnant with my first baby and everyone is excited and so happy for us which is amazing but my partners family are coming on so strongly with everything im struggling to see it as helping but more taking over, for example they want to buy baby loads of clothes and keeo a wardrobe at theirs (baring in mind before finding out we were pregnant i never really heard a peep from them expect for important events for 10ish yrs which was fine by me) when talking about my babys name they said about not allowing anyone to shorten their name they have to be called by their full name. Assuming they will be there in the room with me for labour and assuming how i will give birth and telling the whole family when i havent discussed it with any of them. Calling my baby 'their' baby.
I know these things probably dont sound so major but i just feel like im having my choices and things taken away from me and i do feel overly protective but it just all feels very weird to me. Please dont mistake me for being ungrateful because im genuinely not im happy to accept help and gifts they wish to give but i feel like there is a boundary being crossed or am i being mental?
I do want to talk to my partner but hes very close with his family and the last thing i want to do is cause a problem and upset anyone. I really dont want to upset anyone as i fear however i say it, it will come across as me being ungrateful and rude.
Its honestly making me want to back away and it feels ridiculous but im just scared they are going to take over.
Am i over reacting? How would you deal with it? I feel so conflicted and frustrated and i honestly dont want to keep feeling like this and scared for my baby to come in fears they will try to control all aspects.
Thank you x
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Feels a bit much (subjectively). How do they react to you trying to set boundaries? How does your partner react to their actions?
Is this the first grandchild?.
Sounds like they are just overly excited!
I wouldn't pay attention to them keeping a bunch of clothes for baby at their place is their choice to waste money like that.
Calling the baby their baby I don't think this necessarily anything weird, like they know you are the baby's mum is just an overly excited grandparent.
Like when my FIL asks me how the baby is doing he says how is my boy but he doesn't mean is his kid is his boy in the sense that is his grandson.
The one thing is the bit you said about labour how they are expecting to be in the room?.you really need to bring that up with your husband.
Doesn't have to be rude or anything just explain how it is a private moment and is simply not something you are comfortable with as it is a very vulnerable moment for you and they can come visit when you guys are back home.
Your going through a lot right now being pregnant. I would definitely express your feelings respectfully to your partner even if without the nuanced details just saying that you’re feeling a little overwhelmed with the whole experience and all the input from everyone. It’s completely understandable especially with your diagnosis people should be mindful of that.
I think if you feel strongly that a certain boundary is being overstepped then think of a respectful way of putting that across. For instance if you find a conversation too much just saying “I’d like not to talk about this right now as it’s a bit overwhelming for me” or “I really appreciate your excitement and enthusiasm for our baby but me and (partners name) are wanting to ….” Making sure first that you and your partner are on the same page.
He can love his family and still be a supportive partner to you. I’m sure he’ll understand if you explain to him in a sensitive and tactful manner. Wishing you all the best!
I understand how this can make you feel and in my opinion it will only get worse. It’s important to express yourself to your partner and he needs to hold that boundary with them. Hormones only get crazier and you will really not want to be thinking about your in-laws for most of your pregnancy. I did with my first and it was awful.
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Overbearing in laws...
Girls i nees to get this off my chest because i feel like im drowning in my emotions.
How are we coping with overbearing in laws? For some context i have autism and adhd but its very well managed but as expected im ocerly sensative and i understand that i may be over reacting but i also think some lines are being crossed.
So im pregnant with my first baby and everyone is excited and so happy for us which is amazing but my partners family are coming on so strongly with everything im struggling to see it as helping but more taking over, for example they want to buy baby loads of clothes and keeo a wardrobe at theirs (baring in mind before finding out we were pregnant i never really heard a peep from them expect for important events for 10ish yrs which was fine by me) when talking about my babys name they said about not allowing anyone to shorten their name they have to be called by their full name. Assuming they will be there in the room with me for labour and assuming how i will give birth and telling the whole family when i havent discussed it with any of them. Calling my baby 'their' baby.
I know these things probably dont sound so major but i just feel like im having my choices and things taken away from me and i do feel overly protective but it just all feels very weird to me. Please dont mistake me for being ungrateful because im genuinely not im happy to accept help and gifts they wish to give but i feel like there is a boundary being crossed or am i being mental?
I do want to talk to my partner but hes very close with his family and the last thing i want to do is cause a problem and upset anyone. I really dont want to upset anyone as i fear however i say it, it will come across as me being ungrateful and rude.
Its honestly making me want to back away and it feels ridiculous but im just scared they are going to take over.
Am i over reacting? How would you deal with it? I feel so conflicted and frustrated and i honestly dont want to keep feeling like this and scared for my baby to come in fears they will try to control all aspects.
Thank you x
9
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