Family drama need advice

My sister and I are close, and it’s no secret she’s the favorite. It’s made me a little bitter with my parents, but I love my sister.

Anyways, I started dating my husband a few years ago and neither of my parents bothered to get to know him. I remember the first Christmas I brought him to, my sister also brought her (at the time new) boyfriend, and it was my parents first time meeting both of them, yet they had had presents for her boyfriend and gushed over him all night, and they ignored mine. He realized early on he wasn’t going to be close with them, and then he would see the way they treated me and hear the things they would say about me, and he gets very upset. One day he said something to my mom in private about it and she told everyone he was trying to “intimidate her.” Another time, my husband was home post-op from an emergency surgery, and my dad kept harassing us that he wasn’t a real man if he could at least hang some drywall while literally unable to walk. It really hurts my husband. He didn’t get my parents blessing for our marriage, they constantly criticize him and say I’m making “another bad choice” by being with him. And it does honestly cause strain on our marriage.

Anyways, my sister is now dating this guy my husband introduced her to. One of his good friends. Guy is really nice, and he’s exactly like my husband. They are friends for a reason, and it’s because they have the same upbringing, same morals/values, etc… all the things my parents criticize my husband for, but they LOVE this guy.

I talked to my sister about it and basically said it’s only because it’s her and they favor her, and she agreed with me and says she knows it’s not fair. I told her my husband will be really upset when he finds out and she said to not tell him, but I can’t keep things from him and he’s going to find out eventually. This is a major boundary in our relationship, because early on I sugar coated stuff or omitted details I thought might his feelings, which made him more upset in the long run, and we had many conversations that the truth is more valuable than sparing the others feelings.

I’m more just angry with my parents because I’ve been married to this man for two years now, and they have not even sat through a meal with us once, but my dad is going out for beers with my sisters man and bragging about him and kissing his ass. I just don’t get it, and I feel a little jealous they don’t treat my family like they treat someone who is just entering her life.

Edit: I’d also like to comment on the “bad choices” I’ve made, which included 1.) going to college instead of working at the family business 2.) not aborting my child when her bio father abandoned us, and deciding to be a single mom for the first few years of her life 3.) owning pets 4.) not letting them control me, and pushing back or setting boundaries. 5.) ruining their reputation when the local paper picked up my SA story while I was actively seeking a restraining order against the guy who was stalking me.

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