Why are we socially awkward??

Being told as a child that I was too loud, and I should be quiet. Moving frequently, from age 8-19, and not being able to establish long term trusting friendships. A traumatic breakup at age 16 (due to moving out of state). Being an introvert in general.

It could be a mix of bad childhood experiences and maybe genes. Not sure. I feel like many people are this way. I like to think of it, not as a bad thing but something unique about me.

For me, I think my confidence was absolutely crushed when I got cheated on and then not feeling comfortable in my own skin after weight gain has just made me keep myself to myself a little! And then anxiety kicked in 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
But I'm starting to realise that actually so many more people are socially awkward than we think too, it's kinda nice to know you're not alone! x

Lots of moving...25 times in 34 years. Traumatic childhood and friends who turned out to be enemies

For me, I think it's asd. I really can't read social cues, plus I'm introverted so my social meter runs out really quickly. 😄

I've personally not had a bad childhood or anything in particular that I recall, I just know that I've been shy for as long as I can remember! It wasn't until I went into retail work at 16 that I started to come out of my shell but in social situations I'm still very shy and don't do well in groups of people when all eyes are on me, I go red very easily 🙈 x

I have ADHD which makes it hard for me to even start a conversation with someone. Plus I have anxiety from my adhd & I start freaking out thinking the person I wanna talk to isn't going to like me. Also, as a teen I remember my best friend (not sure if she still is as some stuff happened in the past) would cut me off in the middle of me talking & say "hold that thought", while she quickly talked to someone else. By the time my friend would come finish talking to me I'd have either forgot what I was saying or I remembered from repeating the last thing I said in my head over & over again & would continue the convo. So because of that I feel like ima end up being told, "hold that thought" when im talking to someone. Therefore I let people start convos with me cause it makes me feel better

Anxiety. I’ve had it since childhood. People make me really nervous. Especially at work or anyplace you have to act a certain way. I try to avoid socializing and quarantine definitely hasn’t helped. My social skills need a tune up!

I feel like I was fine until I started a new school beginning in 2nd grade. The students there already knew each other, I eventually made 1 really good friend but by the time 4th grade came around I got ditched for someone else. Never felt I fit in until I found some great people in High school. Found some people in college but by then I rarely kept in touch with people. At some point in high school I was called clingly when really I wanted to find true friendship....that sucked and hurt. To this day I talk to 1 friend from high school, 1.5 from college. No true mom friends outside of relatives. After every kid I birthed (3), my anxiety has increased which makes it more difficult to engage with strangers, school parents, etc.
I really want to address this not only for myself, but for my kids.

I was the weird kid. I was homeschooled and sheltered, had 4 younger sisters and really wasn't allowed to do much so not a lot of friends. Had too many people talk behind my back like I was some freak or just wasn't cool enough. Only was "accepted" my senior year because most of the "cool" kids had either left or were too young to associate with me. Also had random guys and guys I knew literally say in front of me she's not pretty enough or um she's weird tho. So yeah I have a few reasons...

I know my anxiety is my reason I have trouble talking to people and making friends.
I’ve always had the same small group of friends in school. Them kids were close friends. Ones that partied, talked about whatever came to mind and didn’t care what others thought. They were themselves but now as we grew up we went our own way.

I’m trying to find People who I can relate to, help me open up a bit and someone who can be real with me. Not feel like I’m going to be judged because I do something or say something.
I feel like all I do now is just listen and see if they’re like me or not.
If I feel like we’re similar then it becomes easier to talk to you and hold that conversation, but it’s still super hard for me to START a conversation FIRST.

Thats too bad. I’m sure you are now considerate of others feelings. I was very skinny when I was in HS. I had boys say that my body had nothing. I have always looked down at my physical appearance. Words can hurt.

Childhood trauma

I went to 5 different elementary schools & was the family outcast bc I’m an intellectual and have always been. I didn’t fit in at school or at home & I’ve always just been myself.

Anxiety for sure. I think it started in childhood. I had friends, but was far from popular and sometimes I got picked on. 😕 I just avoid interaction with a lot of people because I'm assuming they will think I'm weird or will make fun of me somehow.

Definitely I find anxiety plays a big part. And also being made to feel I was always wrong or whatever I did was not good enough growing up has kinda stuck with me and made me feel like no one would want to be friends with me. Couple that with me being quite shy around new people and I’m lost 🤷‍♀️

Childhood trauma. I never stayed at any school long enough to make friends and when I tried it was very evident that I couldn't relate to them nor could they relate to me. Books were my only constant and they became my only friends the majority of my life.

Ditto on the childhood trauma. I feel like my perception of what a real bad thing is is just different from other peoples. I'm also terrible with small talk and can never figure out how much to share about myself or what's a sensitive way to respond to other peoples problems.

I am a Virgo... LOL no seriously this pandemic taught me a lot. I’ve always been there for people pouring into them and never was able to receive the same not even a small percentage of what I given. Still learning to cut people off.

Childhood trauma and anxiety for me too.

I also moved schools constantly as a teen... you would think that would help me with making new friends, but it did the opposite.
I had two best friends (and no other friends at all) when I was around twenty, one dropped me after she moved interstate and the other passed away. Fell into a bad depressive slump and just kind of... forgot how to socialise I guess? I don't know. Deeply ingrained fear of losing people I guess 🤷‍♀️

Before my kids I used to be a light sleeper

Moving lots and childhood trauma. Its so weird because I want to make friends but I also want to just hide in my house all day lol