Boyfriend puts in no effort

Anyone else’s boyfriend act like they have no responsibilities? He makes his own schedule no expects me to work my way around it… meanwhile, we have a 4 month old baby.
He showers when he wants, goes out when he wants, goes to the gym when he wants, etc.
he completely stopped helping me with feedings during the night, barely wants to hold her during the day. It seems like he always has some kind of excuse. “My shoulder hurts because I hurt it at the gym”, “can you take her now because I don’t feel well and my back hurts”
What about my back??? I take care of her all day and all night. Why is his shower more important than mine??? Sometimes I wait until he gets home from the gym or work to shower, after waiting for him all day.
Why do men think that they can just do whatever??

in our community

Holidays and boundaries!

How did you guys make boundaries between your little families and both yours and your partners families? My husband and I both have divorced families and holidays have always been extremely difficult/busy because of it. Now that our little one is here and coming up on her first “big holiday” Easter I’ve got families pulling us in both directions. It would be so much easier if my baby could engage in the holiday as she’s only 7weeks old😂 if she was older we could do and start our own traditions here at home but since she’s so little everyone expects us to come to them still. Background context my husband and I have been together total 4 years married 1 1/2 so this is still very new for us.

Guilt

My baby just wouldn’t settle. It had been an hour. I’m completely exhausted and I lost it and shouted. He was so upset and scared afterwards and I feel so guilty and disgusted with myself. He’s in bed with me now which is what I’ve been trying to avoid as it makes me so anxious that I’ll hurt him in my sleep but he needs the comfort so now I’m going to be awake all night. I just feel like I don’t deserve him now I shouldn’t have lost it but nothing was working. I’m on my own as my partner works away all week. 😢

Cancelling Easter…

So my step son (11) lives with us full time we’ve started with an issue of him stealing little stuff from school, taking his brothers clothes from his mums here without anyone knowing ect but now
He’s also got the habit of taking chocolate and crisps out the kitchen to the point of he’s eating all my 1 year olds snacks like the 6month+ wafers and then he’s got no snacks. I’m buying loads of stuff to last us the month and he’s going through them within less then a week 🫠 (he never gets told no to snacks either unless it’s just before a meal then he gets told to wait until after hes ate)
He has now gone through all the chocolate we hid for Easter that was also his two little brothers and he’s gone through the stuff my mum brought round for them. So now iv got just over a week with hardly any money to try and get all the Easter stuff back. We’ve sat and spoke about it and why he feels like need to just take and we get a “i don’t know” or “it’s just snacks”

My thing is should I re buy him Easter stuff or leave it as a “you’ve already had you Easter early behind our backs” he’s not missing out completely because he has Easter at his mums but I feel like there’s nothing more we can do other then put locks on cabinets so he can’t get in them but that’s just stopping him from getting to the thing he wants not necessarily him learning 🤷🏻‍♀️
My partners just in that “can’t be arsed” “just replace it” where we have 1 child together and 2 step children and a baby on the way so just constantly going out and replacing stuff really isn’t happening ☹️ he’s agreeing with not giving him anything for Easter but I feel guilty about it but he has teqnically had his Easter + more…

We have also spoken to his mum about it and she just says she has locks on the doors and she did it as a kid and laughs about it which just feels like shes validating what he’s doing.

Sorry for the rant just wanted to see other people opinions and views as I feel so guilty to cancel Easter for him but at the same time we don’t have the money to re buy everything he’s gone through 🫠

Managing frustration

Hi everyone, I’m not sure exactly what I am trying to get out of this but lately I feel so frustrated with being SAHM. I don’t know if it’s because my MIL was her for 10 days and I had been planning my 1 year olds birthday party before that and now I am getting ready for my dad to come for a week. I love my baby so much but sometimes I feel drained to play with her, then I get in my head that I am a bad mom and I should be doing more. I try not to put the television on but it gets too quiet, so I put some music or a show. I have tried earphone but I think it makes overstimulated when I am focusing on baby girl and whatever audiobook I am listening to. It also doesn’t help that she is teething and has been waking up more in the middle of the night and short naps and just fussy in general. My partner helps but he has been taking care of getting the lawn and gardens ready for spring so it makes getting away for a couple hours on the weekend. Not to mention I also have guilt about it. Again I’m not sure what I wanted to get out of this. Maybe someone can help me work through or some advice? Maybe I am overstimulated? How do I work through it?

Feeling guilty for resting

This may sound silly but if I ever get a chance to ‘rest’ or have 5 mins to myself i have this guilty feeling that i should be doing something baby related? Am I the only one?

I have always been quite an organised person so when it comes to babies nap time I don’t usually have any tasks to do. For example, he’s having a nap right now and I’ve made myself a cup of tea and sat down on the sofa, and I feel like I shouldn’t be doing this. Am I being silly ?

im hurting sm and i can sometimes be too in my head, idk

So today, my boyfriend watched my baby for almost three hours while I got my lashes done. I never did something like that and im 5m pp, so it was a big deal, but I appreciated it so much. Then he worked all day, like, from 3 to maybe 8. And when he came in the room, I said let's cuddle tonight (he’s been so distant and admitted it and knows its hurting me, so i straight up said it in a fun way to initiate even tho i’d want him to) and he's just always really high, but he said okay. First we ate dinner, and he hardly touched or kissed me or anything. He didnt really compliment my lashes either besides making a comment on how much they were.

And then we were upstairs, and I said I wanted to cuddle, in a playful way, and I sat on him, and he pulled me off of him and was, saying to lay next to him and not on top of him, but, like, I don't know, like, I felt kind of rejected and then I said that, and then nothing changed. he doesnt touch my butt or anything much anymore. And then our baby fell asleep in his arms, and I told him to put her in the bassinet, and he said no, because she'll wake up. And so he fell asleep cuddling her, and now I'm downstairs alone, and I just feels like, our connection is gone on his end and not mine. like i wasnt even dropping hints or testing him i was initiating closeness for him to brush it off.

It's all weird now and he gets really high too, but, he used to be hands all over me and I even said it to him today, I miss that, and then he like awkwardly put his hands on me. Like, I miss the guy who loved me, and I wanna say all this. But it pushes him away more please thoughts