im hurting sm and i can sometimes be too in my head, idk
So today, my boyfriend watched my baby for almost three hours while I got my lashes done. I never did something like that and im 5m pp, so it was a big deal, but I appreciated it so much. Then he worked all day, like, from 3 to maybe 8. And when he came in the room, I said let's cuddle tonight (he’s been so distant and admitted it and knows its hurting me, so i straight up said it in a fun way to initiate even tho i’d want him to) and he's just always really high, but he said okay. First we ate dinner, and he hardly touched or kissed me or anything. He didnt really compliment my lashes either besides making a comment on how much they were.
And then we were upstairs, and I said I wanted to cuddle, in a playful way, and I sat on him, and he pulled me off of him and was, saying to lay next to him and not on top of him, but, like, I don't know, like, I felt kind of rejected and then I said that, and then nothing changed. he doesnt touch my butt or anything much anymore. And then our baby fell asleep in his arms, and I told him to put her in the bassinet, and he said no, because she'll wake up. And so he fell asleep cuddling her, and now I'm downstairs alone, and I just feels like, our connection is gone on his end and not mine. like i wasnt even dropping hints or testing him i was initiating closeness for him to brush it off.
It's all weird now and he gets really high too, but, he used to be hands all over me and I even said it to him today, I miss that, and then he like awkwardly put his hands on me. Like, I miss the guy who loved me, and I wanna say all this. But it pushes him away more please thoughts
Why do I find it so hard to talk to my husband about finances?
My baby is just over a year old and, for the first time ever, I’m not working as we decided that I’d be a SAHM for my baby. He makes decent money and can cover both of us, but we’ve recently done a big move and our finances need readjusting so that we can properly see where the money is going (bills, necessities, disposal income for each of us). We’re finding that we’re unable to save at the end of each month but can’t quite work out if we’re losing money yet, so I’m really keen to get this setup sorted so we can properly see the cash flow. It was something I used to manage before the big move. My husband has no problem with me managing the finances.
The problem is that he always makes a joke about me spending too much money, like saying there’s always Amazon packages turning up. It particularly hard for me right now because I’m not earning so I am genuinely trying hard not to spend money frivolously. I do get a lot of Amazon packages, but it’s always necessities and/or things for the baby, and he gets just as many packages as I do, but it’s usually just stuff for him.
The jokes aren’t landing with me anymore because I’m sensitive about not contributing financially to the household. He never makes that a big deal, but when I get serious about trying to get a handle on where our money is going, he jokes that I spend it all and I hate it
