Mother in Law to baby shower

That’s regular for them to come. And it’s both of your baby shower not just yours…

no baby shower I have been to has there been the dad or guys, it's been centered round the mum and baby...

I’m sure all of your in laws are not males. And the no male thing is outdated, it’s your choice to have both genders or not but it’s normal for his side of the family to be invited and come.

In regards to who’s invited to the shower, I think it’s personal preference. They’re very different now and some people even do co-ed! Personally I’m having my in laws come and my husband invited his friends also. I’ve also been to showers where it is just the mom and other women

My baby shower was just the women and I invited the mother in law which didn’t go down well I think it’s preference really you do what you feel is right

Is she just does nothing but cause drama and talks so much shit about things I've said and not said surely I have the right to enjoy my baby shower without walking on eggshell? I spent the whole Christmas period walking on eggshells and double guessing everything I said and did and that still wasn't good enough she still complained because I looked her

I definitely think it’s up to you, I wouldn’t invite her either if I wasn’t comfortable with it!

Is there a way for you to add a virtual aspect to your shower and she can zoom into it? Compromise?

Now that you say how she is don’t invite her if you don’t want to deal with it but it sounds like it may cause a problem in yours relationship. If you do invite tell him he needs to have a talk with her first.

not really due to time zones, she's the other half of the world plus its not at home it's in a venue

Personally I think he depends on who is hosting and paying for the shower. If you and partner are both paying then he kind of gets a say on if she is invited. But if you are organising and paying (or one of your friends/mum) is hosting then you don’t need to invite her.
As she lives in another country I think it’s safe to assume if she come to the shower she will expect to stay until after baby is born so you need to sit down with your partner and decide if you both want her there for an extended period of time.
Personally if you don’t like the woman I wouldn’t invite her but you then need to get your partner onboard and explain to him his request is unrealistic as she doesn’t live close and you don’t have a good relationship with her.
But ultimately I think it comes down to who is paying :(

I'm the one paying and planning it with a few friends and unfortunately due to where she lives she can't visit the baby until its been vaccinated for TB so she can't stick around for when the baby is born

Then tell your partner that your sorry he is upset but as you are paying that you get to choose the guests. Also why on earth would he think that she would fly in for a baby shower that lasts only a few hours?? That’s just stupid

I mean it is normal for both sides of the family to attend. But toxic family members don’t need to be there if you don’t want them there.

It’s both of your baby shower. Some people make it girls only but from both sides.
If she wants to be at the birtg of the baby she may not even come for the shower.

Invite her last min so she won’t come

It's pretty normal here for the MIL to be invited to the baby shower. If you're afraid she'll want to stay, I'd tell your husband that you'll only invite her if he puts his foot down and absolutely does not let her stay the whole time until the baby is born and no drinking while she's there. I dunno, mama. It's tough spot to be in!