Marriage wasn't supposed to feel like this

Ugh, I’m sorry you are in this season, mama!! Marriage is totally hard work and there are seasons where it feels overly unbalanced. I’m not sure if it’s reassuring to hear but many of us have been in this space before.

Only you are in your marriage and feels the dynamic in a real way, so anything anyone says must be taken with a grain of salt.

I know it is very possible that your husband is feeling a myriad of emotions that could easily have nothing to do with you or your marriage. That does not excuse your emotions or feelings but can potentially give perspective to make room for grace.

Also, try to make sure that things you do for yourself or your house are from internal desires. This way it does not matter if he comments on your work.

Same thing with taking space for you to veg out if you need to, that way if you see him taking a moment to rest, you don’t feel resentful. Maybe he just needed to rest and not do chores, you in the same way can rest and not do anything

These are all choices we all have the opportunity to choose from. Cleaning today/cleaning tomorrow, taking the trash out/not taking it out, vegging out for self love/overexerting. It’s important to make each decision as what is best for us in the moment and not assume the other to make the same decision. We are all individuals even in a marriage but we talk about these things collectively so each partner in the marriage is understanding of where you are in that moment (not sure if this makes sense!).

I am feeling for you because I’ve been there in certain ways! It’s definitely about finding ways to communicate our needs to each other in ways that they can receive it. Learning to table conversations as needed and revisit them. Learning to give grace because it does not change over night.

It sounds like he is checked out right now for whatever reason but it is more than possible to turn this around if he desires and if you give him room too. Wishing you all the best of luck!!

Don't want to pour gasoline on the fire but to me this is sign of a guilty conscience....he is hiding something! And not specifically something he did but even something he is feeling and he doesn't want to confront it cause if he admits it to himself he would have to act on those feelings...and he doesn't want that. So I would sit down together, asking if you can talk openly and without judgement and maybe gently nudge at the behaviours you are noticing saying it's not a critique but concern and that you want to see him happy and help him get to the bottom of it. If he snaps then too you can point it out saying something must be wrong if he is reacting that way. I dunno...maybe it's not much but that is what I would do 💗