Velcro baby - gentle parenting

Babies are needy, and gentle parenting/attachment parenting is a way of respectfully and responsively meeting these needs. Our culture is obsessed with independence and separateness between child and parents... I'm sorry the class didn't go well, you're not alone and you're doing great. ❤️ A lot of how "easy" going your baby is depends on their temperament and not how you engage with them.

I exclusively contact napped with my son for most of the first year of his life and at 19 months we're still bedsharing, I know it's hard physically and emotionally to be needed this much. But it does get easier, and he will get more and more independent with the knowledge that you'll be there if he needs you. ❤️

Thank you for your replies.

it makes total sense to me that being there for him will help him feel confident in the world, but he’s my first and nobody I know IRL is really doing it to the same extent we are (people saying they’re gentle parenting, but sleep training etc) so it’s reassuring to hear other people’s stories. I don’t mind it being hard, i just want to do the best for him 🥺

Awww, yeah I get it. Not having a village of likeminded people around you is really challenging. My SIL sleep trained her kids and had them sleeping alone by 6 months so she thinks we're absolutely bonkers. 😅

Just anecdotally from my own life, my Velcro baby now takes off any chance he gets at the park and is a big risk taker. Also very social and warms quickly to new people. A lot can change in a few months or a year! Even if your little one doesn't end up quite so confident and rambunctious, there's a place in the world for the reserved and the careful. Whatever your kiddo's temperament you being attuned to his unique needs and personality is absolutely what's best for him. ❤️ You got this!

I echo the kind and wise responses above. You’re doing great in listening to your instincts as a mama.

Yeah, I would say it’s very normal. Even with attachment parenting, babies still go through separation anxiety which might be why your baby is especially clingy at the moment, but the good thing is that this stage doesn’t last forever!
We contact napped for the first year of my daughters life and it felt like she was constantly on my hip or in the sling or on the boob…I totally get the burnout and the physical drain! Again, it doesn’t last forever, she’s 3 and still loves a good snuggle, but is also happy playing solo for hours!
People love to judge attachment parenting without having any actual studies or science to back up their statements (my Pediatrician even tried to say that breastfeeding past 1yr would cause attachment issues 🙄). Just keep doing what you’re doing and listening to your instincts!

In a funny sort of way, I feel the baby that comes into your life tells you how they want to be parented. Our little one took us down the baby wearing, cosleeping, breastfeeding route as that's what she wanted/needed. If I had been able to lay her in a cot I would have but she quickly told me it wasn't happening 😂 she's now 18 months and she's definitely gone through some tough clingy phases, and we still breastfeed and cosleep. All the babies I know have had these phases at one point or another but hers have definitely been a bit bigger and longer. That said, when she warms up she's a real confident little thing. An absolute delight. I think the 'clingy baby' causes the attachment parenting rather than the attachment parenting 'causing' the clingy baby if that makes sense x

You got this!!!!! Check out @attachmentnerd on instagram! She helps ground me in my motherhood journey!she aso talks about exactly what happened to you with those peoples comments. It doesn’t create needy babies, it creates loved nurtured and gentle people!! Check her out.
Been co sleeping ETC for 22 months now and my son is always happy and content. I can see a difference in the children who have attachment parents vs non. The people who judge do not know the science so if they aren’t in the arena with you… their opinions do not matter. You are doing the hardest job and it is the hardest way!!!!

We still breastfeed to sleep as well! He will let me know when he is ready.
Don’t second guess this and you will for a while but if you can… stop second guessing, I promise you will not regret it. It is such a wonderful experience to wake up feeding your toddler, giggling and bonding and playing games .. oh, best experience EVER!!!

I know this is an older post but wanted to offer our experience for anyone else reading in future.

Our now 4yo was a velcro baby. Needed a lot of physical contact and got easily overwhelmed at classes and out and about. We contact napped for all naps, baby wore, co-slept when she was older, extended breastfed etc, all led by her. I questioned our attached parenting style so much when I saw other people's easy going babies just getting on with things, and letting their parents get on with things 😅

Fast forward to now and giving her what she needed early on seems to have helped her develop into a very securely attached child who is confident and outgoing. She still needs a lot of physical contact and attention but she also has a lot of independence.

We now have another velcro baby and I feel much better about our parenting style this time.

It is hard, and I don't think parents with more easy going babies really get it but it is worth it :)

I completely agree with . My daughter might seem a little clingy on the outside and she certainly takes time to warm up to other people but I've had many comments about how she is 'so well behaved' because she doesn't fuss or cry as much as people usually expect from babies (of course when she does cry she is picked up and reassured). I'm convinced the happiness people are picking up on is due to the attachment parenting technique.