Telling your Employer

Ladies! How did you break the news to your employer? Did you start with your manager or HR? Going to do it next week - need tips please. Thx

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I let mine know early because I was a new hire and didn’t have any leave days accumulated yet for my first appointment. I sought out my lead and told her that I had some news. I told her that I would be needing to take a day for my first prenatal appointment because we just found out that I’m pregnant. She was sweet and let me wait to tell admin. When I told admin, it was after work that I had the chance. I couldn’t find any of them, so I sent a text. I think the text took out the disapproving part of it (I’m a teacher in a high needs school that doesn’t use long term subs). Now everyone just knows. I suggest a text if your workplace is pretty informal honestly. Especially if you’re nervous.

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i haven’t told anyone at work yet, but planning to break it to my manager 3 months before due date to avoid getting special treatment or getting assigned smaller projects than usual due to upcoming leave (i work remotely so no one will know otherwise)

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I told my manager at 8 weeks after the first ultrasound

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I just started a job and haven’t told them yet and I am worried. That’s the crazy thing right.. how we have to break the news to our jobs and not knowing how they will deal with the matter..

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I told my direct supervisor the week I found out. She was so happy for me she cried. She offered to tell the director for me so I will be doing that this week.

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yess. I’m worried they’ll react badly. 😞 I don’t need any extra stress. Pregnancy has been hard enough already

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how nice! Did you say, good news, I’m pregnant or how’d you tell her? Sorry not to be nosy but trying in my head to have this convo and have it go smoothly as I think they may react badly - lots of work not a lot of employees and me breaking the news to her. 🤦🏻‍♀️

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I’ve only been with my current employer since July so I was pretty nervous. I told her I was going to leave early that day and probably take a nap. She asked why I literally said “don’t freak out. I’m pregnant” She then cried and hugged me.

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I let mine know around 5 weeks because he kept asking me why I was low energy and looked sick. I started with my manager, when I’m a bit farther along I’ll be talking with HR about maternity leave and stuff.

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I told my manager when I found out at 6 weeks. I also told him I won’t be coming back after lol 😭🙃

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I don’t plan to tell work until as late as possible maybe 6 months? I don’t want to be denied big deals I’m in Business development. Yes they aren’t supposed to discriminate but let’s be realistic.

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this. When I was pregnant with my daughter I told my managers because I was very sick with her. They acted excited for me but then turned around and started writing me up for “looking miserable while on the clock.” Then wrote me up again because I was so sick one day I couldn’t get out of bed and had to call out. My husband tried to get me to take some sort of legal action but as we looked into it, small businesses in Michigan kind of get free reign if they have under 10 employees so I was SOL. It sucked. And it sucked even worse because 90% of the other employees were moms. But all because I was a receptionist and not going to school for hair🙄

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I just don’t trust ANY company or business to treat you fairly. I believe I will be treated differently once they know I’m pregnant and there’s no benefit to giving them a bunch of notice. Giving them three months notice seems super generous.

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agree I’m in this camp!! Thanks for sharing.

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oh for sure. My manager at this job thankfully is treating me well but I read in the handbook I only needed to give them 10 weeks notice and I was like hmmm… I could. But, I tend to show a bit early so idk if that would work lol

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I work remotely and go into the office about twice a month so I could easily just wear something baggy those days.

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I’m sorry you had that experience, btw!

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Just told my work last week at 11 weeks. I sent an email to my boss, HR and scheduler

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I'm a dog groomer at petsmart so my place of business is a bit different I told my manager first than told my employer and said I was going to wait a bit until I told him but was to exited and had to tell him.

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I think I’m gonna go with 20 weeks. At that point it’s likely to start really showing, and the risk has gone down quite a bit, and it’s still quite acceptable I’ve read. There’s a chance I could run into people at some networking events at that time, so as much as I’d like to push even later, I think that’s what I’ll go with. The only other thing I was thinking was waiting another month to 24. I’ll contemplate that maybe depending on how big I am :)

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Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.


I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

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