Walking moms of Lodi🚶‍♀️

Hi Lodi mamas!👋🏼
If you have instagram follow @walkingmomsoflodi
Every Monday & Thursday a bunch of us mamas walk around the Lodi lake with our babes (infants toddlers, babes of all ages are welcome)
Meet up is 9:15a at the trail entrance and we start walking at 9:30a! After the walk a bunch of the mamas go to the playground to let the older kids play while we feed or change our younger babes before we leave.
All the mamas are so welcoming!
I went on my first walk Monday 04/10/23 & I plan on consistently going from now on!😊

in our community

Money in Marriage

Hi, has anyone got an advice? My husband and me are not best with money. Basically, all my husbands wage at the moment goes to bills, rent, his petrol and some loans we took out. He has some little leftover for groceries, subscriptions and stuff. All my wage is for the whole months groceries and any other spendings like new furniture, trips, clothes, etc.
I also started a new business so I get money from there (from clients) but it's not too predictable, for now it's going to groceries only.

Usually it goes that we live off my wage for half a month or a little more, I feel comfort and freedom and then my husband kind of reassures me that we can spend more because he will also have some money left and in the end I often find myself at the checkout with an empty bank account calling him to send me money or put money on the spending card and it's embarrassing and frustratibg. It happens because either A) he doesn't think about me needing money throughout the day even though the shopping is all on me. And B) sometimes things come up for example he didn't realise he didn't pay a subscription yet, or this past week his business sent invoices too late so he lacked cashflow in his business account and couldn't pay himself, so we are broke these days even though he has around £2000 profit right now that he is owed.

Sometimes I really want something and he pays for it and then later on I find out that because of that he didn't pay some bill and then when we actually need something and I thought has, he tells me about the outstanding bill.

We tried budgeting together many times and it's all so straightforward on paper but in day to day life it's confusing

Are we teaching our daughters to hover in a public restroom?

I never sit on a public seat, I’ve always been taught to hover & if I accidentally splash on the seat, wipe up afterwards. I will be instilling this into my daughter but my stepdaughter who’s almost 10 always sits on a public seat and it gives me the ICK. When I ask if her mom never taught her she’s like no, which is not surprising as she never taught her how to properly wash up, shower & clean her hair. It’s so irritating.

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Do you ever think some of your mom friends are ungrateful

I have a friend who has both sets of grandparents nearby and they watch their kids full-time for free while she and her husband works. Since her kids were born. One set of grandparents said they need a break and want to go on a month long cruise and they’re actually mad at the grandparents for “leaving them hanging”. Like excuse me? You have had kids for 4 years you need a back up plan and show gratitude for 4 years of free babysitting.
Some of us out her with zero help and they have the audacity.

Do you feel like your husband/ partner puts the same level of care into parenting, cooking, cleaning etc when it’s his “turn” in comparison to you?

I’m having such a hard time lately because it’s become so embarrassingly obvious that my husband just doesn’t care as much as I do. I feel like he compares himself to his own dad or other men in his life who walked out or do the absolute bare minimum so in his mind he’s excelling, and that watching his mom struggle as a single mom doing everything growing up has conditioned him to be almost blind to the labor of women like it’s just expected. I’ve talked to him about this multiple times and it will get better temporarily sometimes but not long at all

How do people clean with kids??

My son is 13 months old and I just cannot find the time to clean. I thought today what am I so scared of? Striped my sofa to hoover it and it was bad but my son was trying to eat things stand on there if move him tell him no I even put a film on for him and it did not end so I went and made him a cheese sandwich he didn’t eat it he just went back. I’m at a loss bc the mess is getting worse and overwhelming and by the time he’s in bed I’m exhausted he just never stops

Visitors

How is everyone navigating visitors once baby has arrived? I’m due to be having a c-section so I really want a quiet recovery at home. I’ve had major abdominal surgery before, and the last thing I wanted were visitors! I’d like to say no visitors for at least a week (2 would be nice), but equally I don’t want to upset anyone. I know my family will understand, it’s my partners I’m more concerned about.

My in-laws live an hour away, so I can’t imagine they’ll be happy to pop in for a quick visit, and both my partners sisters are 3 hours away, so I’m sure they won’t want to drive all that way just to visit for an hour max. I also don’t want to be bombarded by guests all at once, but how can we prioritise one sister over another. They both have multiple kids, so it’ll be a lot all in one go!

I get very anxious and overwhelmed by social situations, and I imagine I’ll find it difficult with the hormone shifts after birth.