Partner kissed someone else - what should I do?
Show your support
Coming from another perspective, many many moons ago with a previous long term boyfriend, I was the one who cheated on him. Sadly it was a stupid, drunken moment for me. Again, someone I met randomly, we started chatting as friends and then one night found ourselves in the same space, with mutual friends, everyone got really really drunk and without even thinking we ended up kissing. I felt soooo guilty and didn't initially know how to tell my bf at the time. It was eating me up. Eventually I got the courage and spilled the beans. It took a long long time for him to trust me again, but eventually he did and we were together for 8 years after that. (drifted apart eventually due to other things). I am so thankful he did accept me in the end and even though it was hard and took a long time he did forgive me. I think we all do stupid things at some point. We don't mean to hurt others though.
If he really was a cheater, he would 1. Not have told you and 2. Kept going on with that or other relationships. It sounds to me that he is genuinely sorry and regretted what he did. It may be hard to trust, but you can build that trust again. I think it is extra hurtful for you because of your previous experience. We will always drag our past baggage with us, but every situation is different and he really seems to be apologetic about it.
at the end of the day, it’s your decision and what you think is best for you, your happiness and your family. but i could never forgive my partner if he cheated on me, even if i wanted to forgive him, i couldn’t. i just don’t believe in kissing someone else is ever a mistake- if they wanted to do it, they would. if they love you, why would they even put themselves into that position? i don’t even look at another male in that way, because my partner is my everything. i don’t know, i just couldn’t forgive it or ever trust him again. but that’s me, everyone is different. i hope you make the right decision, and i hope you’re okay x
You don't have to do anything right now... Just focus on you and your baby. See how it all goes. It is good that he told you as I would say that he genuinely does feel bad about it and it was just texts and a kiss. I wouldn't do anything rash. You can try and make things work and if they don't then you can make that decision then. Sending love as it must be horrible xx
I can’t say I’ve been in your exact position before but I just want to say I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine what you must be going through especially being 5 months postpartum. You’ve got to do what makes you happy at the end of the day xx
My ex partner did a similar thing to me, we also had a baby together (unfortunately he ended up being stillborn so I can't comment on what he would have been like as a dad but I know he was brilliant with kids of all ages) and for me, the trust never came back and eventually, my paranoia then stopped me from mentally going any further in the relationship. In my opinion, if someone really loves you and really wants to be with you, then they wouldn't even need to look somewhere else, especially when you're heavily pregnant carrying their child. However, on the other end of that, I have seen people who have made a relationship work well even after cheating has occurred. I think it all depends on how you feel, whether you think you can bring yourself to trust him again and what your opinions on it are. I'm so sorry that you're in that situation and I hope everything works out as best as can be for you x