Sex and Relationships with Railey Molinario

Sexsomia

Hi ladies not really sure if this is going to get much response as it’s random as hell?!
Wondered if anyone has/has had a partner that has sexsomia ?
Me and my partner are engaged with a 7 month old, been together for 3 years nearly. He has initiated “sleep sex” a few times over the years first time I was in a right state of panic not knowing what was going on. After that we spoke about it and it’s became a bit of a joke however recently it’s really started to bother me, he’s not the same as when he’s awake and we engage in intimacy and I can’t help but have the running thoughts of “what is he thinking” , “was he imagining me as someone else” and “ if I said stop, would he….?!”
The next day I always find myself feeling pretty crap and a bit miserable and this morning I’ve been doing research on it and just wondered if there was anyone else that had experienced it.

**just to clarify my partner is an angel we are very happy together and he would never do anything to hurt me. He’s had a history of sleep walking since he was a kid which has now developed into this, I haven’t brought how it makes me feel up to him as he can’t help it but I’m just feeling a bit used right now 😞

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I have no first hand experience with sexsomnia though I was quite the sleepwalker as a child BUT absolutely speak with him!

I can understand how you may feel used and your intimacy feels cheapened. It's obviously wearing on your nerves and your self esteem so bring it up before it breeds resentment and distance.

Also it is very much a myth that you shouldn't wake sleepwalkers and that may apply here as well. (If he's aggressive in his sleep it's important that you're careful for your own wellbeing.)

Speak with him. Explain that it's no longer a joke in your mind, and that you'll be rousing him from now on. There are also medical and pharmaceutical interventions if the frequency is increasing.

Good luck.

No experience but I'd try to talk to him maybe he can reassure you he's not thinking about anyone else? I'm sorry idk what to do for sure.

Hello! I believe my partner has had sexsomia. I actually didn’t even know it had a name. It happen multiple times when we first started dating. He never remembered us having sex but I did. He was pretty aggressive during those events but like a sexy aggressive. I never knew when he was asleep because he would talk to me during it. One time he was starting to hurt my arm because we were in a position where he was holding my arms back and told him “babe that hurts, you’re hurting my arm@ and he just kept going and said “take it!” I tried moving his arm and he yelled at me “don’t touch me!” I was scared not going to lie. I spoke to him about it and he was so deeply sorry he didn’t remember a single thing. He hugged me so tight and told me that I should have woke him up but I told him I can’t ever tell when he’s asleep. Ever since I talked to him about it it hasn’t happened. Now it happened to me which is odd. I also didn’t remember one single bit.

What if you implement some safe words ? Maybe while you guys are in the act and you’re not comfortable you tell him your safe word to stop. You got to experiment with it too since he may not have any control. And the whole maybe he’s thinking about someone else. Most likely than not. Unless he has given your reason to. Try to ease your mind by having more conversations about this with him.

There’s nothing wrong with reassurance (:

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