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Am I The Asshole? (AITA)

AITA - Am I holding my brother accountable or am I sensationalising? *trigger warning - sexual harassment, incestuous themes*

Super long post but would appreciate anyone that takes the time to read it <3 

So a bit of backstory, My brother and I are in our 30s, he is two years older than me. He lives with my parents and we have sons around the same age. Our parents are still married. I grew up in a relatively dysfunctional household, but despite that i had a pretty happy childhood. I had some mild sexual abuse in my early childhood by a youth worker in a local church and again by my basketball coach and a string of older boys in their 20s taking advantage of a naive pre-teen who had developed early. Mum was an angel, never wanting to upset her children and really did everything for us. Dad worked his butt off to provide and protect us but lacked some necessary communication skills and has always been hyper critical of us but mostly my brother from a very young. My brother was exposed to pornography from a young age by an uncle who is no longer in our lives. A few years later he figured out how to access internet pornography. This was when the internet literally only started to become a household thing, and so my parents were ill equipped in knowing what was out there and whether it would he appropriate for him to be looking at. So without these boundaries, my brother, starting at about 11/12 years old became obsessed with pornography, watching it every day, several times a day in the study in our home. It got so bad that he destroyed the carpet by ejaculating into it so much and it had to be ripped out and replaced with laminate flooring. He also was completely unhygenic about it, he would ejaculate into pieces of paper and leave them lying around the house, there would be 100s, (not even kidding) just thrown under the desk in the study and there would be sperm on the family keyboard, mouse, computer screen and he wouldnt clean it off himself. On a few occasions i remember picking something up and getting his sperm on my hand. One day when I was on the computer I stumbled upon his internet history. I was probably only 9 or 10, and I told my mum. I suppose she must have looked at it then and decided it wasn't appropriate so she moved the computer out of the study and into the general living space where there wasn't a door. I'm not sure if she had a conversation with him regarding this. So this is when it started. My brother started masturbating to porn in the living area. I can't count how many times I walked in on him. He would walk around wearing satin boxers with an erection. It was really traumatic for me as a little girl to witness this. It continued throughout my teenage years and I confronted him about it as I got older and told him to stop and to just do that in his room. There were many attempts by my parents at intervention, they would get rid of the internet, change the computer password, discuss the implications of his actions with him, but eventually it would just happen again. We had to move in with my grandparents while building our new house and it continued there too, and at this stage we were 18 and 20. We moved into our newly built home and the study nook did not have a door. Needless to say the behaviour continued. At this stage I was fed up and told my parents I would be moving out if they didn't get rid of the internet at home. His behaviour was escalating (masturbating with the window open so passersby could potentially see, using mums work phone, using my tablet without my permission in the kitchen). You couldn't talk sense into him so my parents put their foot down finally and got rid of the internet. So the behaviour stopped at this stage. Anyway a few days before I left home forever, my brother left a piece of paper with his sperm on it on the kitchen bench. I thought nothing of it and picked it up to put it in the bin and it was all over my hand. I literally vomited all over the kitchen floor and then went upstairs and wept. I asked him why he did that l, why he can't just keep it private and he said that he "likes the rush of being caught". This was retraumatising to me... I felt so violated. I did not consent to being part of his twisted sex games. I told my parents they had to kick him out, or I would be leaving. They said they wouldn't kick either of their kids out but it was my choice if I wanted to leave. I think I had a nervous breakdown at this stage and said to him "you're a monster" among other things and I left. It was awful I practically had a psychotic break, I was screaming at him that he was disgusting and a piece of shit etc. I regret that but also understand that I was at my wits end. I didn't speak to my brother for 3 years after that. I eventually started talking to him again with the assumption that time equals growth and surely he had come to his senses and understood his wrongdoings. 

Fast forward to now, our relationship had been better and better since then until about two months ago. My daughter had just been born, she was a week old. My brother came over while we had other family and friends over to meet the baby and went into the house wearing shoes. I asked him politely to take his shoes off and he did but I noticed he was really down. He has a lot of mental health issues of which have been exasserbated due to drug use in the past and I could tell there was something really wrong. Anyway he went inside and made a mess with his son, playing with my sons toys while everyone was outside. I asked him to pick them up and he again came in with shoes on so I told him in a frustrating tone to take his shoes off (as did my mum)... I mean of course I'm annoyed I shouldn't have to tell a grown man for the 100th time to respect my home. Anyway I softened almost immediately and went back outside and starting feeding her on the outside lounge. He came and sat down and was on his phone. I asked him if he was okay and he didn't say anything. Then about 30 seconds later he said something like: "do you remember laughing at Ricky when he got hit with the flying fox?" Ricky is his kid. I honestly didn't remember laughing but it was my fault, he ran after me and my son accidentally hit him. He then proceeded to call me every name under the sun, said I was manipulative, had a black heart, that I was evil, would always be evil and would die that way, that I was a horrible person, he blamed me for all of his mental health issues, said it's my fault he can't figure out how to live this life, that I made him out to be a monster, that I take up all of mums time by guilting her into loving me, that my family is cringe and my house is a pigs sty, he said I'm a conniving fox and it's the only way i can get love is by tricking people into loving me. He also called my parents incompetent idiots. 

This completely came out of nowhere. I didn't retaliate, I just kind of sat there and said "im sorry youre hurting", i could see he was in no place to reason with. He did this in front of our children and my mum, but as soon as my husband came back he stood up and left. I burst into tears it was really aggressive and I felt really unsafe because of his unpredictability and at the same time I recognised myself in his outburst on the day I left home so immediately forgave him for it, I just knew he was out of his mind at the time. My husband was furious and my mum was really upset too. Continued in comments