Drowning

I think you should have an open, honest discussion with your husband asking for help. I had some of this some trouble as well. We talked it through and made a plan that I would deal with most of the feeds, but then use expressed breast milk sometimes when I am just not coping. I try and pump between each feed so I always have a bottle ready. And I will shake my husband awake if I am really struggling and ask him to give a bottle.

You never need to feel guilty about giving yourself a break. This is hard work, and you deserve to feel rested. It'll also make the feeds less stressful and hard when you are in a better state of mind.

Look after yourself, and never feel afraid to ask for help from your partner. They are in this with you too.

He needs to wake up sometimes the help. Have a honest conversation about what you need and how you feel. This will also help him bond with baby and support you. Something we did was take shifts. My husband is a night owl anyway. So I would go to bed early and he would still be awake when baby woke up to feed her. This let me get a straight 4-5 hours of sleep. Then I’d wake up and do all the other feeds in the night. Maybe something like that would work for you.

I second doing shifts!! In those early months my husband did all the night feedings while I pumped (we had latch issues and I exclusively pumped) and it was weirdly some of our cutest moments in the middle of the night together lol but now we do shifts and I wake for the baby anytime before 3am and anytime after 3am he wakes with her. You’ll find your groove, good luck mama!!

Omg and never feel bad for naps! Take those naps while you can!!! People told me “sleep when the baby sleeps” is unrealistic cuz there’s always something else to be done but I disagree and nap whenever I can while baby sleeps lol my dishes can be done another time but there’s nothing like a mid-day nap!

I feel you.. my husband is the same. I’m so over it’s it’s 3.30 am right now and who’s up. I only had a couple of hours sleep. I mean I had to tell him get up go change her and make a bottle and then he went back to sleep straight away. And he snores the house down

You need to have an honest conversation with your husband. Make sure you take naps. My baby girl is a bit older now so when I want to nap too we co sleep in the bed as she’ll then nap for 2 hours or so so means I can get a decent one in

You sound like me a few months ago. I know it’s SO hard..but it doesn’t last long. Some days I got literally an hour and a half of sleep - mostly because I also had trouble falling asleep not just because of the baby. It feels like you’ll never be well rested again, but you will! Ask for and take any help you can get. I regret not accepting more help..

Totally with you, I had a breakdown to mine a couple of weeks ago, cried, told him he had to help…lasted that night and then it was like he’d done his bit and he’s slept peacefully ever since 🙄

My husband and I have a system that works for us. He has always been a night owl and I am lord of an early bird, so he is on diaper duty until 4am and I’m on diaper duty until morning. I still have to get up every few hours to feed her, but it’s been nice to not have to get out of bed to take care of her. He puts her back to sleep in her bassinet too after she is done eating during his shift. Finding a compromise like that might be useful to your situation. My husband works a full time job, does a majority of the housework, and still manages to take of his shift without complaining. Hopefully y’all can find something that works for you =)

My husband was a heavy sleeper and I had to tell him that I’ll wake him up and he has to help. Then as she got older we had nights off. So I’d have my nights where I got up and he had his. Don’t feel guilty just take advantage of the rest you can get with your mom helping and when your husband steps in. Mom needs her time to recover too, you deserve it 💛💛

My husband almost always slept through the kids ' cries
and honestly i didn't feel it helped to have to shake him awake to get up w baby. A few times when rally
sleep deprived I slept
in the basement w white josie so i couldn't hear baby ,
made sure baby was right by my husband , and he woke up w
her. But mostly what we did (especially w the first jo didn't sleep well) was i would feel her around 8/830 pump after, and then
go to sleep . He would stay up late w her and give her a bottle of breastmilk around 11 or so
and then I would be able to get ususallt close to a solid 5-6 hours. I used to also pump a lot
around 5/6 am when I was
up for the day

Easy, wake him up and ask him for something. He might not be able to breastfeed but he can bring you water, fix your pillows, change diaper, etc. You need to explicitly ask for the help you need as they dont have nurturing reflex but they do care.

If you need help with the latching I can help you. Send me a DM