Can't stand my MIL holding my baby

Very early on I have hated my MIL holding my baby because she will either grab her off me, take her into a different room for a long period of time, grab her off after a feed then she ends up being sick. It's gotten to a point where I don't want her holding and don't offer her to hold. I am fine with other family members such as my SIL and her partner. Today as we were leaving her house about 40 mins before LO feed, she started to cry and get fussy and I knew as fast as I could get her in the car she would be ok.. MIL just took my baby out of my arms as LO.was crying saying "need to say goodbye" I was fuming. She then handed her to my partner's granny while she was still crying saying "you've not healed her today'. I just grabbed LO back and walked out the door as fast as I could to the car. I was just so angry how she could take my crying baby out of my arms. My partner didn't watch this happen so I told him about it in the car on the way home, he said she shouldn't have done that but he also said she needs to hold her more when she is calm. But it's gotten to a point I don't want his mother holding my baby at all..

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I have the same problem

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Put your baby and your baby's needs first priority. Just don't let anyone grab your baby or do what they want. You are the mum, you put the rules. Your MIL behavior is completely inappropriate, and to your husband's point, she should keep the baby as much as you want. I only trust my mum holding my baby when I'm not in the room. Not even my siblings, whom I'm very close to. Nothing wrong with that. You have to put some boundaries.

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This is so fair thats so many red flags completely entirely not ok i would not want my baby around her at all it is totally more than ok for you to set that boundary and do what you need to protect you and your baby from that energy set those boundaries whatever that looks like for you to be comfortable

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This may sound strange but try wearing your baby in a sling or baby wrap that way it is not possible for anyone to take your baby off you

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Might be a bit of an “easier said than done” thing, especially if you’re not great with confrontation, but just don’t let her, as much as it can be tricky to stop someone from picking baby up from somewhere (cot, playpen, ect…), if baby is in your arms and there is a reason why you don’t want to hand her to someone, just don’t, she can’t “rip her out of your arms”, if she tries to grab her just stop her and tell her no, your baby your rules, no one has never took my baby out of my arms without my permission

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

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4

22

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

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AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

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1

26

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

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20

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

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15

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

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