Overacting?

I have a friend who comes and see me every few weeks since giving birth. She’s sent me a few pictures of my son that I never see her take, I never see her with her phone out around my son so she’s doing it when I leave the room. She sent me one today of my son with his hair brushed differently and I’m so confused because I never saw her take it or do his hair like that so she’s literally really quickly doing it while I’m in the toilet or sorting something out in another room… I don’t leave them together alone for to long and my flat is open plan so it’s not like I’m in a completely different part of the house. I don’t know if I’m over reacting but it just makes me feel really weird. I think also because she seems like she thinks she has some sort of entitlement over him as she’s always trying to take the pram of me or will do little things like wipe his face before I get to it or when it doesn’t need doing almost like playing mum to my son?? I think as we have been friends for so long she feels she can? And honestly I wouldn’t of minded as much if she didn’t completely ditch me my whole pregnancy and was a good friend…

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I’d be open and say ‘oh, when did you do his hair like that?’ Or ‘I didn’t see you take these?’ He’s your baby, she’s likely to feel a bit awkward about it and will have to respond. To which you can reply that you don’t feel comfortable with that. If it was me I would also be airing how I feel regarding being abandoned during pregnancy. You can do it lightly ‘I’ve seen more of you since he’s been here than the whole 9 months he was cooking!’ And see what she says, or have a serious conversation about it. The resentment is likely to continue if you don’t, though that’s just my opinion. If you can let it go and move on then great, but it sounds like it’s bothering you, combined with the relationship she’s trying to create with your baby I think it’ll only get worse as she tries to get closer.

I have a friend who treated my kids like her own from day one and I did the same to hers. It might seem like a lot now but, trust me, as your child gets older you’ll come to love and appreciate the fact that she’s so loving and attentive to him. Of course, my friend didn’t abandon me during pregnancy but I did see her a lot less just because of work etc. Now her kids are 15 and 13 and we go out and FaceTime often and sometimes my kids call her (11 and 5) and stay over there. I realised that a lot of women don’t have a friend like that and, once you maybe have a discussion about why she left you during pregnancy you’ll come to realise that you are one of the lucky few that have someone to love on your son and treat him like their own. 🥰

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