Sleepless nights / rant session

Does anyone else’s partner sleep through their baby crying to where they don’t get any bit of a break no matter how much they say they wanna help out and then they portray to family that they help and your sitting there like wtf no you don’t you sleep through her crying you when she starts crying and fussing you just hand her to the mom and play video games or get on you’re phone and don’t offer to help ti you’re in the mood to and it’s like I wanna scream like I can’t even get 10 minutes to go shower or eat without her screaming bc he won’t know what to do no matter what i show him or guide him through or try to teach him I feel like a single parent in a relationship and I don’t know how to convey I need help like I know he works all day and comes home and wants to just get on his video games we agreed that he can have a hour to himself as long as he takes over and helps after wards but it’s never like that I’m always the default parent the other be who does everything stays up all night and feeds and changes and comforts her he’ll pass her off whenever she’s not happy and I don’t know what to do like I need some me time and I don’t know what to do bc it makes me nervous for going back to work soon like what is he gonna do

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If you ever wanna talk, I'm basically doing the single mom thing because my husband's military, so I get how you're feeling in this :-/

Give him the baby and leave the house for an hour. Leave a list of things he can try when she's inconsolable. The earlier he does it, the easier it will be on all 3 of you.
When you get back, tell him how unhappy you've been, and you need time away from the baby.

If he can't understand that, he's trash, and you should throw him out and find a new man.

that’s me as well my fiancé is reserves and has a full time job

Shoot me a message? If that's ok?

just did

Struggling sort of with the same thing. Basically, i just ask him to do things for me while im taking care of the little goober. I packed his games away bc im so done with it, too. This sounds shitty, but i also get frustrated/sad when he doesn't do something, and i thank him and act happy when he does do something for me. I also ask for things nicely about 90% of the time. It feels like training a dog smh feel so bad saying that, but men are wired so strangely. I think a lot of them have become stunted due to video games. My husband has gotten a lot better over the course of 8 weeks. I ask him a lot to make me a tea, or plate me some food, or hold the goober for a sec while i cook or do laundry or take a break or whatever. I don't feel bad bc im constantly doing something, so it's only fair that he's constantly doing something, too. Idec about his responses to my requests, tbh as long as he does them.

Sound like u going through same Shid except I’m single mother. But if u going be doing everything alone Midas well be single

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding